The System

First National Bank has set up a new Internet Banking system. This new Internet Banking system proudly features my insanely long surname before I got married. So like any good person who has ever dealt with banks, I called to find out why.

 

I spoke to a really nice man on the other side of the phone and told him that shortly after I got married over two years ago, I made my trip to the bank to fill out all necessary paper work to change my names on the bank’s system. I asked him if he could possibly check my name on the system to see what they had. Unfortunately I did not have my account number handy but could I give him my ID number.

 

His prompt response was to enquire if my ID number had changed after I got married.

 

 

 

And people wonder about the exceedingly high emigration rate of this country.  

all sorts of feelings

I must be honest

 

I feel all sorts of weird right now. Sort of like I’m here not really I’m actually far far away. So many things are uncertain for me right now. I feel like I want to pack up my whole life and just disappear into the sunset.

 

It really would not take much you know. Sometimes I think there really is nothing here for me. last night I told my husband that outside of my family. He;s been there the longest. There has been nobody else in my life that stayed. Nobody that stuck. I don’t remember child hood friends. I’m not even sure I had any. I feel like my whole life. All I’ve ever wanted is to belong and I don’t know if I ever will. I have always felt like the piece of the puzzle that didn’t quite fit right. From a distance all looked fine and okay but up close. It never really was

may have spoken to soon

I may have spoken to soon concerning the sibling thing.

 

Turns out he was defending my honour this morning.

and so the plot thickens

So there I was merrily minding my own business at the birthday celebration of one of my dearest friends. A good time was being had by all. As usual celebrations are interrupted by phone calls. Mobile phones. One of the greatest and most annoying inventions ever made.

 

I received a call from brother dearest to find out exactly what I told my mother in our conversation on the weekend.

WHY ?

Because I am now being branded as a sell-out! And names that were never even mentioned are joining the fray.

YEAH for me. I stood up for my brother. I guess it was too much to expect him to do the same for me. After all he called me to find out if I said anything. Instead of merely believing what was said to him when I called him to warn him of the coming storm.

 

YES the sibling relationship is changing. I am beginning to realise that all my efforts where brother dearest are concerned are all for nought. He has his own posse and I’m just the only other person on the planet that shares enough DNA with him should he require a kidney or some other vital interchangeable body part somewhere in the never-ending future.

 

I am also angered as being labelled as the sell out. I will answer questions I am asked honestly. Perhaps everybody should consider what I had to go through considering that I was being interrogated over other people’s behaviour. Not once but twice.

I will say it again

 

IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING THEN YOU BETTER BLOODY WELL MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE ALSO OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS.        

 

 

I will say it again

 

IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO DO SOMETHING THEN YOU BETTER BLOODY WELL MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE ALSO OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND ALL OF THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR ACTIONS.        

 

 

thoughtless

The week is half way through and I must admit that it has been a week of sleepless nights. Right now the bigest thing on my mind is that I want my car back. Or rather more accurately I want my darling husband to have his own car again. I must admit that the last few months have been an excellent example of my own abiltiy to “roll with the punches” as the saying goes.

 

It really has been one thing after another and I have no idea when any of it might end. Who knows what will happen and who it will affect. Like I said the storm is coming. A few of the lighting stirkes have already been sent my way and yes we have discussed my feeling on those things. Yes I was and still am angry but frankly, my dear, who gives a damn? I guess in the end we all “roll with the punches”. I guess it is a pity then that some punches are a lot harder than others.

 

One of the things to looks forward to is that one of my best friends is coming to Durban for the holiday and I will get to spend an entire wonderfully blissfull day with her on the beach. The weekend of celebrating our Lords death and resurrection is fast approaching. Yes it will be party central at the beaches, clubs and tons of other places. As for me and my house, we will be up to our necks in sorting our lives out.

 

My husband and I have reached the conclusion that we are both dread fully lazy. And have decided to make a go of thing. Really this time. April will be the month where we go to gym. Part of me wants to snicker “yeah right”. The other parts hopes that I will hold fast and get up extra early in the morning and make my way to where all the sweaty bodies gather to welll … sweat some more really.

 

Well enough of this now.

 

I must get back to work. Enjoy my nonsensical ramblings. It’s the only thing of my you’l ever get.

THE STORM IS COMING

OH HELL

The weekend is usually a time where one prepares themselves for the next week and comes does from the hype of the last week. A time to take time out you could say. A time to relax and be mellow and enjoy whatever it is you have to enjoy.

 

No not for me.

 

This weekend the proverbial shit the fan. Now let’s get one thing straight: I will not lie to my mother. There are a lot of things I will and have done but that is one thing I draw the line at. Not because I think I am better than anybody but because I have seen the light side and the dark side of lying to a parent. The honest truth of it is that they will find out. So when questioned, I always opt to take the high road. I tell the truth because if the truth then comes later from somebody else after my insistence that I did not engage in whatever it was, the consequences are going to be that much worse. So it’s more a case of deal with the fall out now and avoid a potentially bigger fallout later. That is my motto. Besides it’s so much easier telling the truth. I after all do not have the time or energy to keep track of who I am lying to.

 

So my mother asked me all sorts of questions and I answered. I answered them all truthfully. I even exposed my own misdemeanours in the answering of the questions (that is another thing I will not do. Protect myself when others are falling. I will fall with them). So my mother in her infinite wisdom thought it would be a good idea to expose the nefarious behaviours of those involved to their parents and then called me to tell me about it. I told her that she made a big mistake and should call back and tell “them” to not speak to my brother. I told her it would not help and only make the situation worse. She asked me to handle the situation. This is of course typical behaviour. Act without thinking about the consequences and then expect me to be the go between and protector from the backlash. Of course there is never really anybody to protect me.

 

Lo and behold the next call I received was from the parent involved or not so involved as the case may be as he lives on the other side of the country.

I got questioned regarding the behaviour of grown men and this is the part that gets me angry.

Why should I be questioned and further more what makes anybody think I am responsible for their behaviour?

 

But I did as I was asked, I told the caller to not speak to brother dear. I told the caller that he didn’t have a relationship with brother dear and would only make things worse.

I was not rude enough to say perhaps you should remove the logs from your own eyes before attempting to remove the specks from other people’s eyes. In retrospect I went in for a penny, might as have been a pound.

The callers response was that he didn’t care. I wanted to say “That isn’t news to me at all. Of course you don’t care; you never have.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

keep going

It’s a Friday afternoon juts before 2 and I am currently looking for pictures of world maps. All I really want is something that is simple. Something that will not detract from my main objectives.

 

I am finding that very difficult right now.

 

Rugby tomorrow. Sharks play the brumbies

I'm back

 

It has been ages. Anybody miss me? Okay so what has happened since my last post?

 

Oh yes. Some dork stole my husband’s car from outside our flat. The thing about this that really makes me mad is that I keep remembering that I work bloody hard for everything I get and then some spineless dork takes it away. It really rubs me the wrong way. I mean what gives that donkey the right to help himself to something that he didn’t work towards? You don’t see me going into your place and taking whatever you have lying around probably cos the dork that you are means that you have nothing because that’s all robbers and thieves will ever be.

 

BIG FAT NOTHINGS

 

Yes I have some anger issues but come on do you really blame me? I mean the day before this lovely tragedy I spent over 1000 rand on text books. I was looking forward to getting a nice new fridge for my apartment. I was finally in a place where everything seemed to be coming together and then some dumb person decided it was okay to take it all away.

 

Hey all my lovely readers

 

I know I know I have not posted in ages. But let me tell you life has been very busy. I had the time of my life last weekend. I went out clubbing till three in the morning and then went to a very exciting rugby match on Saturday and well Sunday was a really busy day too. The week is now half over and I must admit I am looking forward to the weekend. My beloved and I have decided that we will be spending the morning sleeping in followed by a lovely home-made breakfast or brunch in our case and then off to the beach we go, just to chill and relax and have some fun in the sun. I will of course not forget sunscreen. 

 

Anyway that is all I have time for right now but I do promise I will post again really soon.

 

Hugs and kisses

 

MWAH

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

The release date has finally arrived.

 

I was really gunning for a 7/7/7 but well 21/7/7 works as well.

 

Geez only like 24 and a half weeks to go.

it's been a while

            Yes I know, it has been over three weeks since my last post. Let me tell you, it has been an emotional and trying three weeks. But I have pulled through and am back on the road. Soe At the moment I am working non-stop. I need to make some money to pay for my sale books. I am also going to make sure that food costs very little this month. I know I know. I’m suppose to think of my stomach first and then my books. Sorry for me it just does not work that way.

 

I got some really good books this time around. I must be honest from my first sale to this one; I have become so unbelievably picky. The first time I just bough whatever caught my fancy. This time each thing was very carefully selected for its long time value. 

 

 

That being said. Just so you all know I am so very tired, it’s unbelievable.

This is Pearl. This is my baby.

Channing Tatum

Channing Tatum. the man is beautiful. that's really all there is to it.

cars

If you have been reading with some frequency, you will know that I recently acquired a new car. A beautiful Chevrolet Spark LS. A black one. In the long run it’s just a little car. I mean it has a 995cc engine for crying out load. The tortoise can do more.

It is however the prefect first timer car which is what I am – a first timer. This is the first car that is mine to drive with regular frequency. And it’s a wonderful snazzy little car and of course it has a name. It’s Black Pearl. Yes from pirates. It’s pearl otherwise, also because pearl is the precious stone for my birth month.

 

Owning the car has opened up a world of new opps for me. I can got o lunch with friends when I want, I can shopping when I want. I can got to gym when I want. I can pretty mush do what I want when the bloody hell I feel like doing it … Which is great. Except for that for all intents and purposes I am still learning a lot about driving. This is of course means adventures. And as we all know adventures are the best thing to add a spot of brightness to an otherwise ordinary day.

 

So there was the adventure two days after Christmas. This one involved parking. I had the car for juts less than a week by then and while I was indeed becoming more and more comfortable with it, I was still no used to driving on my own other than the five minutes to work and back again. On that day I decided that I would visit a friend and that we should go for coffee. I duly hopped into Pearl and off we went. I must say I didn’t do too badly. Well a lot better than when I had almost crashed into the light pole that morning. So I picked up my friend and off we went to the La Lucia Mall where I had to park my car. in other words I had to stop in a small space without hitting other cars. However I cheated. I drive to a very abandoned area of the park lot and drove straight into a parking that required no torturous movements on my part. For my sins however I had to walk in the gruelling heat of the midday sun and almost wilted before reaching the wonder that is the mall air conditioner.

 

Since that day I have not had too many other arduous adventures. According to husband dear, I’ve been getting better every time.

 

And then there was today. Today where I had to stop at a traffic light at a very steep incline, not flood the engine, not roll back and go when the traffic light turned green. I am very proud to say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. Of course I was freaking out the entire time and seconds of away from screaming at the top of my voice.

 

I have come to realise one important thing. Driving makes you want to drink. Problem is you can’t drink and drive and you can’t drive after you drink. But it’s a dog eat dog world out there. I have a very little dog but he’s all mine. I suppose I’ll get better everyday. But until then there is nothing wrong with caution and cautious is what I will be

2006 in review

Oh so today is the second day of the New Year. Many people including myself are back at work and it’s time to start everything again, picking up from where we left last year. Previously the year seemed to pass and I seem to be growing. While at school it was marked by going into a new standard or grade. I knew time was passing because I went from six to seven and then eight. At varsity it was first year, then second, then third. Now it seems like it was just a chance to take a break and spend some much needed time with my husband.

 

There were many things that I wanted for 2006 and right at the beginning of the year I knew what they all were. The only ones I can remember now are getting a new job or at least a job that was a day job, finishing my honours and if my darling husband and I could afford it, getting me my own car. I did all three. I got a nine to five, finished my honours, got a brand spanking new car. I think this is one of the bigger things for the year. A car is a big deal.

 

But so many other things happened. Carryn and Justin started the year together and finished it with other people. My brother and I got closer and further apart and then closer again.  I got one of my best gifts for Christmas  from him. My husband and I celebrated two years of marriage which is a BFD. I don’t care what anybody says. I know the first is supposed to be the hardest year. But it’s all hard. They’re all hard.

 

I went to Johannesburg for the first time this year. I also took my first plane trip this year. I saw Robbie Williams live in concert this year, and the Black-Eyed Peas in concert. I went to the Moscow Circus which was great. I also saw Swan Lake performed by the World Renown St Petersburg troupe.  All in all it was an amazingly fab year. I also made better friends of old friends and called up people that I had not seen for a really long time. I made new friends as well and picked up new skills. I made my first curry and learned more and lived more and did more.

 

I think I should strive to do more and do better in 2007

 

 

marriage

It has been a long week and Christmas is almost upon us. I forgot to renew my library books again and am so gearing up for astonishingly hefty fine. Also I am feeling a case of the nerves. I will be married for two years in two days. The best thing about that I that now I have crossed the two year hard part. There’s only another like 50 or however long we live left.

 

But marriage like everything else is difficult. Maybe a little more difficult than everything else. You see the thing is that if you have a fight with a friend you can go home. Scream in your own steam, have some ice-cream and then meet, cry and get over it and bond over shoes, clothes, kitchenware, - whatever strikes your fancy, but when you’re married  you are home damnit. You really can’t go any where and I’ll be damned before I let you walk out the house and spend the night at the Holiday Inn with room service and free bath stuff while I stay home and cry into a smelly pillow.

 

Before you ask …. Yes I have issues. A very happy marriage yes and issues

 

Also it’s the two year mark. The question on everybody’s bloody lips is

 

                        “When are you gonna have a baby?”

 

Umm … let’s see when I finally think that is actually worth it to have my wonderful blissfully disordered life tossed into chaos by a screaming squalling infant. It’s what I’ve been dreaming off since I realised my breast are more than mere man-attracters or my husband refers to them ‘super-powers’,

 

The truth is that my marriage is on of the most fulfilling things into my entire life. I was blessed with a wonderful husband who thinks I’m so very amazing despite all of me very obvious faults. It may be just two years but these have been the most wonderful two years of my life and there have been a million ups and downs and we moved three times. We’re awful to each other when then shops are busy and when we’re tired and hungry. But I know that I know that I know that he loves me more than anything else in the world.

 

And I also know that we’ll be together forever. I know this to true as well because in this day and age with the cost of living, there is no way I can afford to get dirvorced

 

 

blogging

Since beginning this journey I must admit that I have in fact become better at the whole blogging process. Especially since I discovered that all I had to do was type into an email whatever I wanted to say and click send. A beautiful process.

I did however have some free time today and though I should have a look at what else I could do with my blog. It felt boring to me. Lines and lines of text in a format that didn’t really reflect me. So on I went and made some changes. I must admit I like them a lot.

the morning after the night before

Last night was the staff Christmas party for the book store that I work at on Saturday morning only. And not every Saturday morning at that because even I (yes I do) have a life where books are not at all involved.

Somebody once said to me they knew when they were at my place by the books on every single surface all over the house. Yes I read a lot. I am well read. Let’s move on shall we?

 

So back to the Christmas Party. We went to a place called Baan Thai. I must say the food was wonderful. Very delicate flavours and just the right amount of spices.  Last night for the first time ever I had duck. It’s actually quite good. I had no idea. So yes I will be having it again … should the circumstances arise.

 

 

Anyway the best part or parties is the in my not-so-humble opinion is the giving of gifts. It is of course all fun and games until somebody get hurt. Nobody got hurt. And there were some good gifts. I must admit when working in a budget, it forces you to be creative especially when you have to buy something that either sex can use. I got a cup. It says.  “Good morning let the stress begin”

 

How very appropriate. J

 

It was a good party and I really can’t wait for the next one. I love the bookstore and you know what I don’t think I’ll ever stop.

 

a busy time to be had by all

 

Another day, another dollar.

 

Well I suppose in the South African context, it would be

 

Another day, Another Rand … dollar just seems to work better.

 

It’s only Monday and already it has been a long week. People I cannot even begin to tell you just how tired I am. It’s has been one thing after another since the beginning of last month (November) and let’s just say December is not famous for its restful aura. No that more a June/ July type thing. The winter months. They automatically means long sleeping hours. So where to begin? What have I been up to the last few weeks?

 

Well the exciting news is that I am now the proud owner of the LOTR extended DVD box set. I’ve already started watching even though I have yet to finish prison break and need to return DVD’s that contain beautiful Wentworth Miller on them. No matter. I will survive.

 

I made a very lovely chocolate cake for Tim’s grandfather on Saturday. It was in celebration of his 86^th Birthday. Can you ever? So what if he’s all wrinkled and keeps calling me Carol. 86 is one hell of an accomplishment.

 

What else …

Oh yes. This is an achievement of note. I survived in a room full of children. And I was not spat on, none oft hem had runny noses and thankfully they could all go to the toilet themselves. I draw the line there.

 

So a busy yet fulfilling weekend and this morning a wonderful friend gave me the opportunity to pass on pearls of wisdom to her. Like I said to her when I was done “when did I get so wise?” She laughed and was certain that she had no idea at all.

 

So now dear non existent readers my fondest wish is to go home and go to bed and sleep a dreamlees sleep. Oh and to eat the breyani my aunt sent me. hmmm breyani.  It’s been a while