I am scared.

Of course I am

People keep asking me if I’m nervous and I keep thinking why are you asking me such a stupid question. It’s a very polite question, one that must be smiled at and politely answered.
“No I’m doing great” because nobody really wants to know if I’m scared or not. No one wants to know if I wake up in the middle of the night with my over active imagination running wild and thinking about all the strange possibilities that are so very unlikely but just might happen. The kind of stuff that you see on ‘The Twilight Zone’ like something going wrong with the anesthetic and I’m trapped unable to move or tell anyone that I’m awake and can feel every single last cut that is made.

I think it’s stupid to ask people if they are okay. What kind of answer do you expect? Do you really expect them to say NO I’m not okay? In fact when you ask, do you really actually even care?

Another thing that annoys me is when people say it’s the cherry on top. Do people realize that the cherry is the most insignificant thing? You eat it and then it’s gone. Other than decoration it’s not really anything. Nobody ever says that they remembered the cherry. You only ever remember the desert. So what’s the point of saying it’s the cherry on top?

I think as a society we should make an effort to stop asking pointless questions. This is the list
Are you okay?
How was the honeymoon?
How’s married life?
Are you scared?
Are you nervous?

Don’t ask questions just to be polite. Rather just
SHUT THE HELL UP

Pre-post

This is a pre-post. That mean it’s a post before a post. Whatever. Has anyone really noticed the pre-everything that we have now that supposedly makes everything easier to do? Pre-cooked, pre-washed, pre-clean, pre-this, that and the other. My favorite is pre post-colonial. I think I like that one best. It’s before and after.

Are we gonna have pre-death as well?

Where you’re dead but not actually?

I’ve been de-cousined … AGAIN.

Indeed it has been a while since my last post and a lot has happened since then. But let me assure you that I’m still here and stronger than ever.

I went to my first all nighters this weekend. My only regret was that I did not have the original party girl to share it with. She said she was tooo tired. Anyway there’s always next time. Turns out that I impressed some people (at least one person anyway) being on the dance floor all night.

I’m told there’s a certain amount of guilt that one feels the next day, I feel nothing. No guilt at all. Au contraire, I can’t wait for the next time.

Anyway getting back to the topic of this post. As I said I’ve been de-cousined. This time without all the humming and ceremonially jargon that marked the first fortunate occasion. This time around I also didn’t get my R2 from the mother of the head of the party. I suppose with inflation it should be R200 now. But I’m older and wise and got a bit more than that in the bank so I’ll waive that aside.

In other news my 26 year inning of not going to hospital has finally come to an end. After two hours of throwing up the non-existent contents of my stomach, I went to the emergency room at the hospital. It’s really not my fault. Where else can you find a doctor at 1 in the morning?

It was only two hours and I don’t think it quite counts. But I was there with a drip in my arm so I guess it will have to do. On the upside even though it was the morning at least I was out in two hours.

That counts. No over night stays in hospital. 26 years and counting.