Been a while

It has been a while since I posted. Mostly because I have been busy at work and my internet connection was not working as it should.

This last weekend has been a monumental one for me. I pushed the borders of what can and could not be done. Let’s just say a great time was had by all.

 

The one thing that has been on my mind quite a bit lately is responsibility. How responsible am I for my brother’s (or sisters) actions? Cain asked God if he was Abel’s keeper. Certainly we should not abandon all responsibility of family and friends but how much of it is our. I have been constantly thinking about how much my action affect other people. Luke Ford said "Everything we do affects other people." Yes I do get that. But I’m also of the opinion that I am not a deciding factor in anybodies decision other than my beloveds.

 

We live our own lives and do our own things.  I guess the essence of this is that I’m tired of being made to feel guilty about some one else’s choice’s.

the weekend

This weekend was undoubtedly one of the coldest weekends I have ever been through. I had a lot of fun at the ladies camp I attended. I even made my own fridge magnet for my mother.

I got to know a lot of interesting things about people and they got to know a lot of interesting things about me. I did miss some people who were not able to be there.

Am I really my own person?

There’s a huge emphasis in the world today about being your own person and striving to make your own make on the world. Husbands and wives don’t wish to stand in each other shadows, siblings don’t want to be seen as carbon copies and people as a whole generally want to be seen for their own value and worth.

But how much of your own person are you? As children growing up we do develop our own personalities, likes and dislikes. But for the most part are under the care of our parents. We learn that we do things a certain way. For example some children might learn that you never put your feet up on the couch. To others it’s a non-issue. They’ve never really thought about it.

My question here though is when do you throw of the shackles of parental control (and it does indeed move from care to control) and begin to make decisions about your own life. At which point in your life is it okay to say: “I don’t agree with what you taught me while growing up. I’m making new decisions based on what works for me.”

After all is it really yours to begin with?

We can never get away from the truth (even if truth is relative) that our decisions have consequences not only for ourselves but for family that surrounds us and the friends we choose. The decisions I make are what fits for me in my lifestyle.

My decisions may not be the ones you want me to make and my lifestyle may not be the one you want me to live but it is the one I choose just like you choose the lifestyle you wished to have.

....No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." – John Donne

yes, even today

The situation that I am in at the moment is no longer one that is so unique. I look around me walking through the mall or anywhere really and there are scores of inter-racial couples everywhere around me. To be honest I can’t help but stare. There’s a piece of me that wants to go up to them and ask if it’s easy.

 

I don’t think I really understood what I was embarking on until I came face to face with the reality that my relationship was thought of as an anomaly, a mistake that should be blotched out. It’s not easy to walk around and see the stares.  It’s even harder when you realise that they stares and comments are all directed at you. It’s quite disconcerting when well meaning acquaintances proudly declare that they could never do that. I never have any idea about what to say then.

 

The whole inter-racial relationship is something that I had to deal with and I have. I wouldn’t trade my beloved for anything in the world.

 

All of these experiences should have made me realise that there are people out in the world who think of themselves as being better than all the other races in the world.  Despite having come in direct contact with those types of people, it still shocks me to the core every time I come across something new like that.

 

Human nature is something that I don’t think I will ever understand. The concept of truth and what is right and wrong seems to incredibly different among people. Perhaps it is true that truth is indeed relative but surely respect and dignity are the same among all people, irrespective of race, ideology or religion even.

 

The American Declaration of Independence states “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

 

Or perhaps it was George Orwell who it had it right when he wrote that “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

 

The reality is that there are still people who start and join pro-apartheid groups. In their own minds they are right. In my mind, they’re a sad pathetic bunch of losers that cannot adapt. 

 

Who’s right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

confessions

It has been a really bad dieting fortnight. I fell of the bandwagon and didn’t bother to get back on. Well they say the first step is to realise that you have made a mistake and then move on. Well here I am recognising that I have fallen of the band wagon and am now trying to get back on.

 

The Random House road show as always was a blast. I love the event. It’s one of my events of the year. Brilliant books as always. Very soon I will be the proud owner of the new Nigella Lawson, a biography of the earth and updated version of one of Delia Smith’s first ever cook books.

 

Yes I opted for a Delia. I do understand that people everywhere will be shaking their heads in dismay at that choice. But I do think that we should not ignore the older classics in favour of the newer ones. All things have their place.

 

 

 

a point I need to make

I feel this is a good time to clear up a misconception that has been bugging me for ages.

 

Just because I am married does not mean that I do not like going out as much as the next person. Actually I may actually just enjoy it a lot more because I’m NOT looking for a quick shag. I’M MARRIED. I can get those anytime I want.

I must admit that I am actually really quite sick of the expectations placed on me as a married individual. As though by getting married I suddenly decided to actually take all the fun out of my life and need to hang out with other married people so we can sit and discuss the ever rising price of potatoes. Trust me when I say that none of my married friends and I have ever discussed the rising price of anything.

Marriage has only added to my lust for life. I now have a partner in crime.

 

I must say that I’m not lobbying to be out partying till dawn every weekend. I’m just making a point that like everybody else on the planet, I would also love to go out and have a great time sometimes.

 

I’m married not in prison.

 

celebrate

Anybody who knows me well enough has often heard about my love for the brilliant Primi Station 4 at Gateway. I have celebrated my last two birthdays there with very special friends.  I had a wonderful time last night. I am so very grateful to my friends who I discovered actually know me very well. It was a lovely evening with good food as always and good service. I had the beef medallions served with parmesan mash and veggies on the side. Delectable! I loved it. Very pricey at R105 but worth every penny.  I must admit though that the rising cost of eating out has forced me to rethink doing it as often as we did. And at the end of the day I think I prefer my own cooking anyway. But when it comes to eating out PRIMI is the standard by which all other restaurants are measured.

 

Of course every good night always has one bad spell to it. The best way to deal with bad spells is to actually just let it go. I guess at the end of the day be grateful for what you do have and don’t think twice about those things that you don’t have. I had about a dozen wonderful friends with me last night and I had a blast.

 

So to all my people THANK YOU so much for coming last night and celebrating with me. None you of you have any idea of how much you each mean to. I think of al of you all the time and miss you all the time. And thanks for all the brilliant gifts. I love them.     

 

 

And for the golden trio of booksellers. We will part again tonight.

 

my birthday present

I have for years wanted a full length jacket like the one pictured below. Now that said jacket is hanging in my cupboard, I am elated at having acquired it.

I think the best things are when you’ve you been wanting something for ages and then you get it as a gift. Almost like someone saw into your head and picked out something they liked and handed it to you.

A jacket like the one I have just been given is a classic, something that never ever goes out of fashion. I will treasure it for the rest of my life. It is without a doubt one of the best gifts I have ever been given.

 

And to my beloved who gave me such a treasure.

 

From the bottom of my butt (because it’s a lot bigger than my heart)

 

THANK YOU.

 

what a brilliant birthday present. A full length wool coat. I love it.

the last day of being 25

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new era. Tomorrow I turn 26.

 

Hectic. I used to think being on the other side of twenty was positively ancient. I don’t think so anymore. I’m looking forward to a good year of being 26, fancy free and my whole life ahead of me. I have some great stuff to look forward to in the coming year as soon as I get over this cold.

 

I will be celebrating in Wednesday night at the fabulous Primi Piatti. There will not be a repeat of last year. After all I’m supposedly older and wiser now.

 

I can taste the lamb chop special even now.