not sixteen candles

Sixteen days into the New Year and unfortunately the awaited phone call has still not arrived. Durban unfortunately is nothing like Johannesburg. At most there are two job posting on the Biz community website. Johannesburg on the other hand fills the entire page … just for one day.

I must admit that it is becoming pretty boring staying at home day after day after day. It all becomes very repetitive. Life changes and moves on. The things we take for granted disappear and we are forced to re-evaluate our situation.

I meant to tell everyone that I am very grateful to be alive right after the accident but I never really for around to it. Life changed faster than I could blink. When I opened my eyes, it had all changed.

I thought things had gone bad after I got retrenched but then I lost my car and worse went even lower but in the middle of that I still had my life. But it’s all mixed feelings. In the accident I hurt my hand and the simple act of picking up a coffee cup became a monumental task and then MISS INDEPENDENT had to rely on someone else for everything even taking my clothes off (not that he complained about that partJ). But even without the use of my hand I realised it could have all been so much worse. I could have lost the hand itself, I could have had my legs ripped open BUT none of it happened.

I suppose then that my biggest thing is that I should on my hands and knees and express my undying gratitude. I am able to do that but it doesn’t make life any easier. I don’t have a car or a job. But that doesn’t make me ungrateful. It only makes me human. No one could ever understand how grateful I am to be alive. It’s a topic I’m harping on, I know. But I never said thank you. So here goes.

To my mother – you taught me to be independent and to be strong. But you also taught me to have compassion and to help people even if they don’t deserve it.

To my darling brother - I love you more than you know and as long as I’m allowed to I will be here for whatever you need and NEVER judge you.

To the rest of my family: it takes a village to raise a child, thank you for raising me to be the extraordinary individual that I am.

To my wonderful friends, Antony, Baheya, Chris, Jacques and Shayne: You guys are my best friends. You mean more to me that you will ever know and I value your friendship and your input into my life.

To every one else in my life: don’t take me for granted. I ALMOST DIED.

To my darling husband: (insert corny lines here).

To GOD: thank you. There’s not really anything more that I can say.