GOOD INTENTIONS

Sometimes good intentions are self serving.

 

I experienced a case of self serving good intentions this weekend that left me rather annoyed. A very nice individual (G) decided to come and speak to me about my relationship with a person (X) connected to me. With obviously good intentions, G told me that I should make attempts to repair the relationship with X; He sprouted scripture and idioms concerning unconditional love and everything that I had heard before from a million other people. I do understand where G is coming from and I do applaud him for his efforts of the X’s behalf. But G has not idea of X has done and so all his efforts were in vain.

 

As far as X is concerned I am the epitome of polite and courteous behaviour and I do believe that no more can or should be asked of me. I understand the concepts of forgiveness and acceptance and whole heartedly embrace them as well. After all if I cannot forgive and accept, how can I expect to be forgiven and accepted?

 

But there is a line that I will not cross. Not out of defiance and rudeness but rather to protect myself and my rather fragile sensibilities where X is concerned. I will be the first to admit that I loose myself in a myriad of negative emotions far too easily. And so to protect myself and those that I do not care to burden with my unrelenting anguish, I keep my distance from X. It is an arrangement that suits everybody concerned.

 

Good intentions can be self serving. G’s good intentions served only his need to feel that he was imparting some good advice to someone who obviously needed it. I accepted what he said in a gracious manner and moved on. I do not feel guilty concerning my behaviour toward X nor do I feel that there need’s to be any adjustment in the relationship.

 

This whole incident taught me a very good lesson though; sometimes we speak without fully understanding a situation.

 

Our good intentions might not be good at all.