perceptions ...

are an interesting thing. All through out history we learn that it was the perceptions of strong individuals that changed the way life happened for a few or for many. For example in England a long long time ago, a man on the street could be shipped off to uninhabited Australia for stealing some bread to feed his five starving children. The punishment clearly did not suit the crime but the perception of the strong was that the poor had no business taking anything that did not belong to them

 

In other words, I see things one way and you see them another. I have been coming face to face with that notion in my recent dealing with people which brings me back to a question I have asked in previous posts.

 

Who is right?

 

I’m tired and thinking of too much and going off on tangents.  I just need some sleep and little less complication.

 

In other news

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was as brilliant as I hoped. A few minor dis-appointments but that the way the cookie crumbles I suppose.

I am very excited as I write this. I just over six hours I’ll be settling down to watch the latest movie in the Harry Potter series. I’ve heard all the arguments and I know what everyone will possibly say. ‘Aren’t you a bit too old to care about stuff like this?’ I hope I’m never too old to get excited about trivial things. I hope I’m never too old to see the magic (excuse the pun) of using one’s imagination and I most defiantly hope that I never get too old to get together with a bunch of great friends and have fun.

ink blot

There are times in our lives when we need to sit down and actually take a good look at where we are. There are a number of debates raging around me at present and while in three years the consequences of these actions may not be all that memorable, the immediate future is at stake.

 

The balance of living and happiness is a delicate one. A very precarious balance. A step in the wrong direction and everything might go helter-skelter.

 

I had a wonderfully open discussion with my boss last Monday where I finally took a good look at myself in the mirror of self-reflection and realised I was very unhappy with my job and by extension unhappy with my life in general as it was.

That realisation made me feel very ungrateful for the wonderful life that I did lead outside my job. I have wonderful family and friends and a great social life. Why then should one aspect of my life so alter my perception of the way my world functions.

 

I feel that often we try to find the things to fill that gaping hole that exists within us. We try to rationalise that this or that may bring us some happiness and we won’t have to deal with the inkblot that just won’t go away.

 

I’ve looked my inkblot in the eye and told it I don’t like it. Now I’m working on removing it.

 

The best part is that it’s all out in the open. NO hiding.

 

DAMN! That feels good.

 

 

 

Since my university days I have enjoyed the BREAD AHEAD bakeries. Of course those days are long gone. But imagine my delight when a store opened up in Durban North.

Well that delight has just been flushed down the toilet along with the remainder of my mutton curry pie. As is evidenced by the attached photograph,
there was a piece of plastic in my pie.

I'm never going there again.

The Reality of the Truth of the Situation

Affirmative action, a very interesting concept.

 

In South Africa affirmative action is a very controversial topic … for most people anyway. There is no denying that the African and Indian people of South Africa have been much marginalised. Apartheid may not be very fresh in the memory of most people but we all do study history at some point and have all heard about some person or other pulling the ‘race card’ and if you’re South African you should be well acquainted with the whole ‘Rugby and Race debacle’. The numbers all need to add up.

 

When did it become about numbers? When did we stop taking notice of people as human beings with skills and talents and start thinking of them as numbers?

I agree with affirmative action. I do believe that the people who were marginalised deserve the chance to have their turn. I don’t think the balance has been restored.

I still do believe that thousand of Black men and women have not been given the chance to prove themselves and it does upset me when I get invites to facebook groups called ‘Abolish Affirmative Action in South Africa’

 

Why?

Why exactly should people who have endured many years of slave labour and all kinds of other tortures not be given the chance to excel?

 

Where are all the poor whites?

Where are all the white packers?

Where are all the white cleaners and janitors?

 

The balance needs to be restored. At dinner once somebody said ‘black people expect too much, they just want everything’

Well of course they want everything you bloody fool. Somebody once took everything away from them.

 

Let’s take a moment to remember that it was the blood sweat and tears of the African and Indian people that built our roads, built our bridges and paved our way in the economic international community. It may have been a white economy but it was African and Indian labour.

 

I don’t necessarily believe that the practical side of affirmative action is doing all that well in South Africa but I do believe in affirmative action as a concept.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is Affirmative Action Necessary?

Affirmative action makes sure that qualified designated groups (black people, women and people with disabilities) have equal opportunities to get a job.

 

They must also be equally represented in all job categories and levels of the workplace.

Based on legislation in Section 15, of the Employment Equity Act

source

fallen angels

I remember many things about the time I was young. I suppose we all do. But the one memory that comes most often (and decidedly unbidden) is my standing on a chair in a black cloak and a painted face.  My ‘demons’ bowing before me in various capes or cloaks; whichever one suits your fancy. There is a picture of the event. One that I hope nobody ever sees ever again.

If any one would ask I would have to answer that this particular event was were my fascination for theatre and stage started. This was where the bug bit.

 

This was the first role that I played.  At first the poem was meant to be shared among all five female members of my group. For some reason (I have no idea why) it was then decided that I would actually do the entire poem. I would be the one who would stand up there and recite the entire thing from memory. I think I may have been around 8 years old. I’m not sure. At any rate the only thing I am certain of is that I could read and nobody though it was a problem for a 8 year old to memorise a page long poem and then recite it in front of a rather large audience that consisted of my parents, family and friends and all my friend’s parents and family.

 

I do remember having to sit for my make up and the decision to have me in different make-up than everybody else. You know so that the audience could tell I was the DEVIL.  

 

I have often remarked that there is something that I have in common with people like Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Viggo Mortensen and Ben Affleck. At some point in our careers (however short-lived like mine) we’ve all played a fallen angel in varying degrees of course.

 

I found the poem again and re-read it. The unknown author had some good points. Sometimes I think that the more knowledge available to us, the less we actually really know.

 

 

The devil once said to his demons below,
"Our work is progressing entirely too slow.
The holiness people stand in our way
Since they do not believe in the show or the play.
They teach that the carnival, circus and dance,
The tavern and honky-tonk with game of chance,
Drinking and smoking, these things are all wrong;
The Christians don't mess with the ungodly throng.
They are quick to condemn everything that we do
To cause unbelievers to be not a few.
They claim that these things are all of the devil;
That Christian folks live on a much higher level.
Now fellows, their theology, while perfectly true
Is blocking the work we are trying to do.
We will have to get busy and figure a plan
That will change their standards as fast as we can.
Now I have a vision of just what we can do.
Harken, I'll tell this deception to you.
Then find ye a wise, but degenerate man
Whom I can use to help work out this plan.
There's nothing so real as the things that you see;
The eyes and the mind and the heart will agree.
So what can be better than an object to view?
I say, it will work and convince quite a few.
The home is the place for this sinful device;
The people deceived will think it quite nice.
The world will possess it, most Christians can't tell
That it is all of the devil and plotted in hell!
We'll sell them with pictures of the latest news;
While they're still looking, we'll advertise booze.
At first it will shock them; they'll seem in a daze;
But soon they'll be hardened and continue to gaze.
We'll give them some gospel that isn't too strong,
And a few sacred songs to string them along.
They'll take in the ads, with the latest of fashions,
Soon watching the shows that will stir evil passions.
Murder and love-making scenes they'll behold
Until their souls will be utterly cold.
The old family altar which once held such charm
Will soon lose its place without much alarm.
Praying in secret will also be lost
As they look at the screen, not counting the cost.
Compromise preachers, who don't take their stand
Will embrace this new vision and think it is grand.
They'll help fool the people and cause them to sin
By seeking this evil and taking it in.
Influence is great and this you can see;
Just look at my fall and you'll have to agree.
It won't take too long, my demons, to tell
That the vision of Satan will populate Hell!
Divorce will increase, sex crimes will abound;
Much innocent blood will be spilled on the ground.
The home will be damned in short order I say
When this vision of mine comes in to stay.
Get busy, my cohorts, and put this thing out;
We'll see if the church can continue to shout.
The holiness people who stand in our way
Will soon hush their crying against show and play.
We'll cover the earth with this devil vision.
Then we'll camouflage it with the name television.
The people will think they are getting a treat
Till the Antichrist comes and takes over his seat.
He'll rule the world while the viewers behold
The face of the beast, to whom they were sold.
We'll win through deception, this cannot fail;
Though some holiness preachers against it will rail."

 

muse

There are times when we are forced to be really brutally honest with ourselves. Sometimes that honesty can result in pain that you weren’t really to deal with but needed to and at other times it can be really quite cathartic. Sometimes it can be both.

 

Sometimes though it’s really necessary to take a step back and look at where you’re going and what how you are getting there. Drifting along does not always help matters. One should have a plan and work toward that plan.

 

Sometimes though you just need to batten down the hatches and brave the storm.

 

Been a while

It has been a while since I posted. Mostly because I have been busy at work and my internet connection was not working as it should.

This last weekend has been a monumental one for me. I pushed the borders of what can and could not be done. Let’s just say a great time was had by all.

 

The one thing that has been on my mind quite a bit lately is responsibility. How responsible am I for my brother’s (or sisters) actions? Cain asked God if he was Abel’s keeper. Certainly we should not abandon all responsibility of family and friends but how much of it is our. I have been constantly thinking about how much my action affect other people. Luke Ford said "Everything we do affects other people." Yes I do get that. But I’m also of the opinion that I am not a deciding factor in anybodies decision other than my beloveds.

 

We live our own lives and do our own things.  I guess the essence of this is that I’m tired of being made to feel guilty about some one else’s choice’s.

the weekend

This weekend was undoubtedly one of the coldest weekends I have ever been through. I had a lot of fun at the ladies camp I attended. I even made my own fridge magnet for my mother.

I got to know a lot of interesting things about people and they got to know a lot of interesting things about me. I did miss some people who were not able to be there.

Am I really my own person?

There’s a huge emphasis in the world today about being your own person and striving to make your own make on the world. Husbands and wives don’t wish to stand in each other shadows, siblings don’t want to be seen as carbon copies and people as a whole generally want to be seen for their own value and worth.

But how much of your own person are you? As children growing up we do develop our own personalities, likes and dislikes. But for the most part are under the care of our parents. We learn that we do things a certain way. For example some children might learn that you never put your feet up on the couch. To others it’s a non-issue. They’ve never really thought about it.

My question here though is when do you throw of the shackles of parental control (and it does indeed move from care to control) and begin to make decisions about your own life. At which point in your life is it okay to say: “I don’t agree with what you taught me while growing up. I’m making new decisions based on what works for me.”

After all is it really yours to begin with?

We can never get away from the truth (even if truth is relative) that our decisions have consequences not only for ourselves but for family that surrounds us and the friends we choose. The decisions I make are what fits for me in my lifestyle.

My decisions may not be the ones you want me to make and my lifestyle may not be the one you want me to live but it is the one I choose just like you choose the lifestyle you wished to have.

....No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." – John Donne

yes, even today

The situation that I am in at the moment is no longer one that is so unique. I look around me walking through the mall or anywhere really and there are scores of inter-racial couples everywhere around me. To be honest I can’t help but stare. There’s a piece of me that wants to go up to them and ask if it’s easy.

 

I don’t think I really understood what I was embarking on until I came face to face with the reality that my relationship was thought of as an anomaly, a mistake that should be blotched out. It’s not easy to walk around and see the stares.  It’s even harder when you realise that they stares and comments are all directed at you. It’s quite disconcerting when well meaning acquaintances proudly declare that they could never do that. I never have any idea about what to say then.

 

The whole inter-racial relationship is something that I had to deal with and I have. I wouldn’t trade my beloved for anything in the world.

 

All of these experiences should have made me realise that there are people out in the world who think of themselves as being better than all the other races in the world.  Despite having come in direct contact with those types of people, it still shocks me to the core every time I come across something new like that.

 

Human nature is something that I don’t think I will ever understand. The concept of truth and what is right and wrong seems to incredibly different among people. Perhaps it is true that truth is indeed relative but surely respect and dignity are the same among all people, irrespective of race, ideology or religion even.

 

The American Declaration of Independence states “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

 

Or perhaps it was George Orwell who it had it right when he wrote that “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

 

The reality is that there are still people who start and join pro-apartheid groups. In their own minds they are right. In my mind, they’re a sad pathetic bunch of losers that cannot adapt. 

 

Who’s right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

confessions

It has been a really bad dieting fortnight. I fell of the bandwagon and didn’t bother to get back on. Well they say the first step is to realise that you have made a mistake and then move on. Well here I am recognising that I have fallen of the band wagon and am now trying to get back on.

 

The Random House road show as always was a blast. I love the event. It’s one of my events of the year. Brilliant books as always. Very soon I will be the proud owner of the new Nigella Lawson, a biography of the earth and updated version of one of Delia Smith’s first ever cook books.

 

Yes I opted for a Delia. I do understand that people everywhere will be shaking their heads in dismay at that choice. But I do think that we should not ignore the older classics in favour of the newer ones. All things have their place.

 

 

 

a point I need to make

I feel this is a good time to clear up a misconception that has been bugging me for ages.

 

Just because I am married does not mean that I do not like going out as much as the next person. Actually I may actually just enjoy it a lot more because I’m NOT looking for a quick shag. I’M MARRIED. I can get those anytime I want.

I must admit that I am actually really quite sick of the expectations placed on me as a married individual. As though by getting married I suddenly decided to actually take all the fun out of my life and need to hang out with other married people so we can sit and discuss the ever rising price of potatoes. Trust me when I say that none of my married friends and I have ever discussed the rising price of anything.

Marriage has only added to my lust for life. I now have a partner in crime.

 

I must say that I’m not lobbying to be out partying till dawn every weekend. I’m just making a point that like everybody else on the planet, I would also love to go out and have a great time sometimes.

 

I’m married not in prison.

 

celebrate

Anybody who knows me well enough has often heard about my love for the brilliant Primi Station 4 at Gateway. I have celebrated my last two birthdays there with very special friends.  I had a wonderful time last night. I am so very grateful to my friends who I discovered actually know me very well. It was a lovely evening with good food as always and good service. I had the beef medallions served with parmesan mash and veggies on the side. Delectable! I loved it. Very pricey at R105 but worth every penny.  I must admit though that the rising cost of eating out has forced me to rethink doing it as often as we did. And at the end of the day I think I prefer my own cooking anyway. But when it comes to eating out PRIMI is the standard by which all other restaurants are measured.

 

Of course every good night always has one bad spell to it. The best way to deal with bad spells is to actually just let it go. I guess at the end of the day be grateful for what you do have and don’t think twice about those things that you don’t have. I had about a dozen wonderful friends with me last night and I had a blast.

 

So to all my people THANK YOU so much for coming last night and celebrating with me. None you of you have any idea of how much you each mean to. I think of al of you all the time and miss you all the time. And thanks for all the brilliant gifts. I love them.     

 

 

And for the golden trio of booksellers. We will part again tonight.

 

my birthday present

I have for years wanted a full length jacket like the one pictured below. Now that said jacket is hanging in my cupboard, I am elated at having acquired it.

I think the best things are when you’ve you been wanting something for ages and then you get it as a gift. Almost like someone saw into your head and picked out something they liked and handed it to you.

A jacket like the one I have just been given is a classic, something that never ever goes out of fashion. I will treasure it for the rest of my life. It is without a doubt one of the best gifts I have ever been given.

 

And to my beloved who gave me such a treasure.

 

From the bottom of my butt (because it’s a lot bigger than my heart)

 

THANK YOU.

 

what a brilliant birthday present. A full length wool coat. I love it.

the last day of being 25

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new era. Tomorrow I turn 26.

 

Hectic. I used to think being on the other side of twenty was positively ancient. I don’t think so anymore. I’m looking forward to a good year of being 26, fancy free and my whole life ahead of me. I have some great stuff to look forward to in the coming year as soon as I get over this cold.

 

I will be celebrating in Wednesday night at the fabulous Primi Piatti. There will not be a repeat of last year. After all I’m supposedly older and wiser now.

 

I can taste the lamb chop special even now.

 

 

observation

I must admit that every job has its up and downs. At the moment I’m doing research. I love doing research. There’s something so extremely fulfilling about looking for information, finding a lot of stuff and then having to read and sift through all that information to find what you really need.

 

At the moment I’m looking for a report in Online Banking Practices in Europe. There’s actually more than one report. So I’m looking forward to reading about online banking in Europe. I must admit that part of the report will most likely annoy me. WHY? Because I have no doubt that online banking practice in Europe is so much more superior to online banking in South Africa.

 

Yesterday I spent the day home sick. Today I’m spending the day at work sick.                             

wonder's

It’s a cold Monday morning.  Okay it’s not so cold outside but my office seems to attract the cold. The very walls themselves seem to have a wish to be part of an icebox. I’m in an interesting state of mind at the moment. There are many things to consider and you never really know how the decisions of today are going to affect tomorrow.

 

I’m thinking about what is more important to me. To have a family and life with them or to work my way up the career ladder and see where that takes me. Choices like theses are never easy. On the one hand of I pursue a career, I’d end making lots of money, have a nice house and fancy clothes. But is that what it really important? Or is the love of a family and being able to be with them. But then let’s think about this way – without that brilliantly paying job you can kiss a house and warm food and clothes even maybe goodbye.

 

How do people do it? How do they bring up children? Provide them with a good education and still feed them and clothes them and all the other necessary things. It is something that I am trying to figure out.  What is more important to me?

 

The other side of me says I’m way too young to even be thinking about all this and I should just go out and party.

 

grrr aaargh

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and I’ve been leaving myself mental notes to blog about them.

 

The thing I think that has annoyed me the most this week was the flat blond cow that could not wait 10 seconds for me to turn despite the fact that I had been waiting ages for the person in front of me. Now she had to drive up alongside me ONE THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD and block my view of on-coming traffic on the lane I needed to turn into. Some people are just rude an annoying and just make you want to scream. LOUDLY.

 

Anyway the other problem is that my beloved is away this coming Thursday and Friday night and all my peoples are booked out. I am going to be reduced to sitting around on a couch watching DVD’s or maybe not. We’ll have to see what happens. With the kind of weather we are having now. Not everybody seems keen to be going out. Which is entirely understandable.