Adventure

The word adventure no longer holds the same sense that it used to. Adventure used to mean treks into the tomb of the Tutankhamen or meandering across the great African Wilds, the Australian Outback or the maybe the American Wild West. Whatever adventure meant back then, it most certainly did involve the use of tents and cooking on an open fire and all kinds of things that us city slickers would never be able to do like washing at the nearest watering hole or (GOD FORBID) not taking a bath all together.

 

Adventure has a new meaning now. One that is more suitable to our urban lifestyles and our credit cards and everything else.

 

 

I’ve just has an adventure.

 

I dropped water all over myself and there began the crazy journey to get dry clothes. It’s all fun and games really till someone loses and eye.

 

 

In other news I am finally coming to terms with the events that occurred in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It’s been a two days at least since I finished the book and I’m coming to terms with it slowly. I think perhaps it was the drug induced state that kept me from feeling what I am now. I’m on fewer drugs now and it’s all starting to sink a bit too quickly.

 

It really is the end of an era. It’s like Buffy all over again.               

 

 

J.K. Rowling has made history with Harry Potter. She’s a brilliant writer. The manner in which she weaved everything together in this book is just amazing and mind blowing. She’s also shown herself to be an adult writer with this book. I for will not have any problems if she abandons writing for kids and writes for adults exclusively. Deathly Hallows is a dark but brilliant book.  

 

Fundamental Differences

There are fundamental differences between races and when you are involved in an interracial relationship you get to learn what they are.

 

This is what I have learned.

 

When you are sick, if you are Indian you get treated to some brilliant chicken curry with white rice and maybe some russom (sorry about the spelling, I have no idea how to spell it) if you’re lucky enough.

 

If you’re white, you get chicken noodle soup.

 

If you’re an Indian girl married to a white guy who has no idea how to make curry, you get Nando’s HOT.

 

 

 

Brilliant Monday

So I did it. I went to gym yesterday and was really disheartened by how little I managed to do. But I suppose it’s the first step that matters and all I have to do now is keep stepping. The La Lucia gym looks really good. They got all new equipment which was fun to use. I looked a bit idiotic just standing there staring at the screens but I got the hang of it and all went well afterwards.  I felt great. I felt energised and ready to take on the world.

It also seems like the Gym Muses decided to reward my efforts because when I got home I found two really nice surprises. The first was a bit of a shock really. It always is when you know you’re put something somewhere and then it isn’t there. But it was a lovely surprise and makes me life so much easier. The load on my shoulders has lightened considerably.  

The second surprise met a need that I could feel was growing. It had taken root and a tiny little bud was about to spring forth.

We are all aware of the age old debate. NIKE or ADIDAS? (For others this includes Reebok and/or Puma), well for me it was the Adidas vs. Nike. Then it’s the white or black debate. After much deliberation on Sunday I settled on white Nikes. But there was that little niggle that said I could also do with a pair of black cross trainers. You know  ... just is case. Imagine my surprise when I got home to find a pair of black Adidas. It’s great. I love it. My fashion sensibilities have been placated. White and Black trainers. Shoes that will suit whatever mood I’m in.

So I no longer have any excuses to skip out on gym. I’m taking the plunge and moving forward. My goal this week is to go to gym every day. Not really to ouch myself to the point of exhaustion but rather juts just actually get going.

 

 

It's official...

… the world has gone Harry Potter crazy. Just about everything is abuzz with news and thrills from the latest book and the movie. I must admit I’m also waiting with baited breath for the last book. I need to know once and for all what happens. Then I can continue with my life and not have to think about it ever again … well until the sixth movie that is.

 

The weekend was busy and nice. Friday got of to a good start. Got to leave work early and headed home and slept for a bit while waiting for my beloved to finish work. After picking him we headed to the video store for a DVD and then pizza. We then went home for a nice relaxing night on the couch. Then came Saturday and Saturday was awash with activity.

One of the more memorable things about Saturday was getting to see the ultrasound of my nephew. Technology is amazing. I got to see his heat beat and his tiny little feet. But to be honest, those ultrasound things make unborn babies look like little aliens, so not so cute when you put it like that. But in the end it was a really nice content moment. I’m pretty sure he’ll look all normal when he eventually pops out. I’ve never seen one of those ultra sound things before, so it was pretty cool to see my nephew that way before he was born.

After seeing my unborn nephew I headed home to get some sleep before getting dressed and heading of to Joe Cool’s. Let’s not even talk about the journey that ended with us winding up at Joe Cool’s. Just thinking about it tires me out. The last time I went there, it was this really awful dive and kept wondering what the hell I was doing there. This time I could appreciate the location and all it entailed. I had a great time.

I do know one thing though and I keep coming back to this all the time, I didn’t feel entirely comfortable there. At least not the way I feel comfortable at Burn or at Casablanca. It’s very difficult to explain and I always get apprehensive about even trying to explain it. I never really feel as I am really communicating what I’m actually feeling. Also I’m weary of explaining it because it does sometimes sounds like it comes down to a race thing and it’s really actually not.  I guess it has a lot to do with the type of people frequenting the different joints. They really are polar opposites.  I personally have always felt more accepted by the patrons of Burn and feel like I have more in common with them than the people at Joe Cools or at Casablanca. Being at Joe Cool’s I felt like I misread the invite and got my outfit wrong for the fashion parade. Again I think it comes down to perception and how we feel. Irrespective though, I had a great time. Good Friends can make the worst experiences seem better.

 

Sunday was nice and a little relaxing or it would have been if I had not been tired but functional. I went of to visit family, had some brilliant mutton breyani, got a great gift and had a nice chat. Went home and headed of to Gateway where I spent R700 on a pair of shoes. I realised that I should just do it (yeah I got a cute pair of Nike’s) after driving all the way to Reservoir Hills and forgetting to take my shoes. The gym has been calling to me and so to answer the call, I bit the bullet and bought the shoes. I will be the first to admit that I spend a lot of money on shoes. But do you have any idea how many different pairs of shoes could be bought with R700? So I despair in that regard but think my new Nike’s are pretty cool.

 

Today I am off to the gym after work. I need to get back on track with a lot of things if I want this year to be a lot more fruitful than the last one.  So the training begins now. I’ve also decided to take the next month off. I’m on hiatus at least until the next big party calls to me. This was not a decision made lightly nor was it an easy one to make but it was made for a number of very good reasons; the biggest one being the ever-mounting pile of ironing that needs to get done and the other things that I have been neglecting in favour of the very busy social life I’ve led for the last few months. Of course, the rule does not apply to invites by certain unnamed persons. (If are lucky enough to make the list, snaps for you) or to tentative plans already made.

 

I’m using this one month to try and make sure that I get back into the stage of my life where gym attendance was very mandatory or the week didn’t quite feel right. This is my biggest focus for the next month.

 

 

Wish me God Speed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

hunting wabbits

OKAY

 

So I’m back out there and I must admit … not enjoying it so much, the sending out of CV’s, the constant waiting for the phone to ring, the endless interviews. It all becomes too much at times really. The thing about jobs is that for most of them you need experience. Most times you don’t have that. It’s an interesting gamble. You need experience to get a job and you need a job to get experience. I suppose not many companies are willing to put in the grunt work so that you can then just fly off to a better pay check.

 

Well that’s life I suppose.

 

I do really hope that I am blessed with a new job really really soon. Something more suited to me.

I’m really tired and when you are tired it affects your perception (there’s that word again) of every little thing under the sun and yes it is under the sun because in theory you should be asleep during the hours of the dark.

 

Tired = bad mood.

perceptions ...

are an interesting thing. All through out history we learn that it was the perceptions of strong individuals that changed the way life happened for a few or for many. For example in England a long long time ago, a man on the street could be shipped off to uninhabited Australia for stealing some bread to feed his five starving children. The punishment clearly did not suit the crime but the perception of the strong was that the poor had no business taking anything that did not belong to them

 

In other words, I see things one way and you see them another. I have been coming face to face with that notion in my recent dealing with people which brings me back to a question I have asked in previous posts.

 

Who is right?

 

I’m tired and thinking of too much and going off on tangents.  I just need some sleep and little less complication.

 

In other news

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was as brilliant as I hoped. A few minor dis-appointments but that the way the cookie crumbles I suppose.

I am very excited as I write this. I just over six hours I’ll be settling down to watch the latest movie in the Harry Potter series. I’ve heard all the arguments and I know what everyone will possibly say. ‘Aren’t you a bit too old to care about stuff like this?’ I hope I’m never too old to get excited about trivial things. I hope I’m never too old to see the magic (excuse the pun) of using one’s imagination and I most defiantly hope that I never get too old to get together with a bunch of great friends and have fun.

ink blot

There are times in our lives when we need to sit down and actually take a good look at where we are. There are a number of debates raging around me at present and while in three years the consequences of these actions may not be all that memorable, the immediate future is at stake.

 

The balance of living and happiness is a delicate one. A very precarious balance. A step in the wrong direction and everything might go helter-skelter.

 

I had a wonderfully open discussion with my boss last Monday where I finally took a good look at myself in the mirror of self-reflection and realised I was very unhappy with my job and by extension unhappy with my life in general as it was.

That realisation made me feel very ungrateful for the wonderful life that I did lead outside my job. I have wonderful family and friends and a great social life. Why then should one aspect of my life so alter my perception of the way my world functions.

 

I feel that often we try to find the things to fill that gaping hole that exists within us. We try to rationalise that this or that may bring us some happiness and we won’t have to deal with the inkblot that just won’t go away.

 

I’ve looked my inkblot in the eye and told it I don’t like it. Now I’m working on removing it.

 

The best part is that it’s all out in the open. NO hiding.

 

DAMN! That feels good.

 

 

 

Since my university days I have enjoyed the BREAD AHEAD bakeries. Of course those days are long gone. But imagine my delight when a store opened up in Durban North.

Well that delight has just been flushed down the toilet along with the remainder of my mutton curry pie. As is evidenced by the attached photograph,
there was a piece of plastic in my pie.

I'm never going there again.

The Reality of the Truth of the Situation

Affirmative action, a very interesting concept.

 

In South Africa affirmative action is a very controversial topic … for most people anyway. There is no denying that the African and Indian people of South Africa have been much marginalised. Apartheid may not be very fresh in the memory of most people but we all do study history at some point and have all heard about some person or other pulling the ‘race card’ and if you’re South African you should be well acquainted with the whole ‘Rugby and Race debacle’. The numbers all need to add up.

 

When did it become about numbers? When did we stop taking notice of people as human beings with skills and talents and start thinking of them as numbers?

I agree with affirmative action. I do believe that the people who were marginalised deserve the chance to have their turn. I don’t think the balance has been restored.

I still do believe that thousand of Black men and women have not been given the chance to prove themselves and it does upset me when I get invites to facebook groups called ‘Abolish Affirmative Action in South Africa’

 

Why?

Why exactly should people who have endured many years of slave labour and all kinds of other tortures not be given the chance to excel?

 

Where are all the poor whites?

Where are all the white packers?

Where are all the white cleaners and janitors?

 

The balance needs to be restored. At dinner once somebody said ‘black people expect too much, they just want everything’

Well of course they want everything you bloody fool. Somebody once took everything away from them.

 

Let’s take a moment to remember that it was the blood sweat and tears of the African and Indian people that built our roads, built our bridges and paved our way in the economic international community. It may have been a white economy but it was African and Indian labour.

 

I don’t necessarily believe that the practical side of affirmative action is doing all that well in South Africa but I do believe in affirmative action as a concept.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why is Affirmative Action Necessary?

Affirmative action makes sure that qualified designated groups (black people, women and people with disabilities) have equal opportunities to get a job.

 

They must also be equally represented in all job categories and levels of the workplace.

Based on legislation in Section 15, of the Employment Equity Act

source

fallen angels

I remember many things about the time I was young. I suppose we all do. But the one memory that comes most often (and decidedly unbidden) is my standing on a chair in a black cloak and a painted face.  My ‘demons’ bowing before me in various capes or cloaks; whichever one suits your fancy. There is a picture of the event. One that I hope nobody ever sees ever again.

If any one would ask I would have to answer that this particular event was were my fascination for theatre and stage started. This was where the bug bit.

 

This was the first role that I played.  At first the poem was meant to be shared among all five female members of my group. For some reason (I have no idea why) it was then decided that I would actually do the entire poem. I would be the one who would stand up there and recite the entire thing from memory. I think I may have been around 8 years old. I’m not sure. At any rate the only thing I am certain of is that I could read and nobody though it was a problem for a 8 year old to memorise a page long poem and then recite it in front of a rather large audience that consisted of my parents, family and friends and all my friend’s parents and family.

 

I do remember having to sit for my make up and the decision to have me in different make-up than everybody else. You know so that the audience could tell I was the DEVIL.  

 

I have often remarked that there is something that I have in common with people like Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Viggo Mortensen and Ben Affleck. At some point in our careers (however short-lived like mine) we’ve all played a fallen angel in varying degrees of course.

 

I found the poem again and re-read it. The unknown author had some good points. Sometimes I think that the more knowledge available to us, the less we actually really know.

 

 

The devil once said to his demons below,
"Our work is progressing entirely too slow.
The holiness people stand in our way
Since they do not believe in the show or the play.
They teach that the carnival, circus and dance,
The tavern and honky-tonk with game of chance,
Drinking and smoking, these things are all wrong;
The Christians don't mess with the ungodly throng.
They are quick to condemn everything that we do
To cause unbelievers to be not a few.
They claim that these things are all of the devil;
That Christian folks live on a much higher level.
Now fellows, their theology, while perfectly true
Is blocking the work we are trying to do.
We will have to get busy and figure a plan
That will change their standards as fast as we can.
Now I have a vision of just what we can do.
Harken, I'll tell this deception to you.
Then find ye a wise, but degenerate man
Whom I can use to help work out this plan.
There's nothing so real as the things that you see;
The eyes and the mind and the heart will agree.
So what can be better than an object to view?
I say, it will work and convince quite a few.
The home is the place for this sinful device;
The people deceived will think it quite nice.
The world will possess it, most Christians can't tell
That it is all of the devil and plotted in hell!
We'll sell them with pictures of the latest news;
While they're still looking, we'll advertise booze.
At first it will shock them; they'll seem in a daze;
But soon they'll be hardened and continue to gaze.
We'll give them some gospel that isn't too strong,
And a few sacred songs to string them along.
They'll take in the ads, with the latest of fashions,
Soon watching the shows that will stir evil passions.
Murder and love-making scenes they'll behold
Until their souls will be utterly cold.
The old family altar which once held such charm
Will soon lose its place without much alarm.
Praying in secret will also be lost
As they look at the screen, not counting the cost.
Compromise preachers, who don't take their stand
Will embrace this new vision and think it is grand.
They'll help fool the people and cause them to sin
By seeking this evil and taking it in.
Influence is great and this you can see;
Just look at my fall and you'll have to agree.
It won't take too long, my demons, to tell
That the vision of Satan will populate Hell!
Divorce will increase, sex crimes will abound;
Much innocent blood will be spilled on the ground.
The home will be damned in short order I say
When this vision of mine comes in to stay.
Get busy, my cohorts, and put this thing out;
We'll see if the church can continue to shout.
The holiness people who stand in our way
Will soon hush their crying against show and play.
We'll cover the earth with this devil vision.
Then we'll camouflage it with the name television.
The people will think they are getting a treat
Till the Antichrist comes and takes over his seat.
He'll rule the world while the viewers behold
The face of the beast, to whom they were sold.
We'll win through deception, this cannot fail;
Though some holiness preachers against it will rail."

 

muse

There are times when we are forced to be really brutally honest with ourselves. Sometimes that honesty can result in pain that you weren’t really to deal with but needed to and at other times it can be really quite cathartic. Sometimes it can be both.

 

Sometimes though it’s really necessary to take a step back and look at where you’re going and what how you are getting there. Drifting along does not always help matters. One should have a plan and work toward that plan.

 

Sometimes though you just need to batten down the hatches and brave the storm.

 

Been a while

It has been a while since I posted. Mostly because I have been busy at work and my internet connection was not working as it should.

This last weekend has been a monumental one for me. I pushed the borders of what can and could not be done. Let’s just say a great time was had by all.

 

The one thing that has been on my mind quite a bit lately is responsibility. How responsible am I for my brother’s (or sisters) actions? Cain asked God if he was Abel’s keeper. Certainly we should not abandon all responsibility of family and friends but how much of it is our. I have been constantly thinking about how much my action affect other people. Luke Ford said "Everything we do affects other people." Yes I do get that. But I’m also of the opinion that I am not a deciding factor in anybodies decision other than my beloveds.

 

We live our own lives and do our own things.  I guess the essence of this is that I’m tired of being made to feel guilty about some one else’s choice’s.

the weekend

This weekend was undoubtedly one of the coldest weekends I have ever been through. I had a lot of fun at the ladies camp I attended. I even made my own fridge magnet for my mother.

I got to know a lot of interesting things about people and they got to know a lot of interesting things about me. I did miss some people who were not able to be there.

Am I really my own person?

There’s a huge emphasis in the world today about being your own person and striving to make your own make on the world. Husbands and wives don’t wish to stand in each other shadows, siblings don’t want to be seen as carbon copies and people as a whole generally want to be seen for their own value and worth.

But how much of your own person are you? As children growing up we do develop our own personalities, likes and dislikes. But for the most part are under the care of our parents. We learn that we do things a certain way. For example some children might learn that you never put your feet up on the couch. To others it’s a non-issue. They’ve never really thought about it.

My question here though is when do you throw of the shackles of parental control (and it does indeed move from care to control) and begin to make decisions about your own life. At which point in your life is it okay to say: “I don’t agree with what you taught me while growing up. I’m making new decisions based on what works for me.”

After all is it really yours to begin with?

We can never get away from the truth (even if truth is relative) that our decisions have consequences not only for ourselves but for family that surrounds us and the friends we choose. The decisions I make are what fits for me in my lifestyle.

My decisions may not be the ones you want me to make and my lifestyle may not be the one you want me to live but it is the one I choose just like you choose the lifestyle you wished to have.

....No man is an island, entire of itself...any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee." – John Donne

yes, even today

The situation that I am in at the moment is no longer one that is so unique. I look around me walking through the mall or anywhere really and there are scores of inter-racial couples everywhere around me. To be honest I can’t help but stare. There’s a piece of me that wants to go up to them and ask if it’s easy.

 

I don’t think I really understood what I was embarking on until I came face to face with the reality that my relationship was thought of as an anomaly, a mistake that should be blotched out. It’s not easy to walk around and see the stares.  It’s even harder when you realise that they stares and comments are all directed at you. It’s quite disconcerting when well meaning acquaintances proudly declare that they could never do that. I never have any idea about what to say then.

 

The whole inter-racial relationship is something that I had to deal with and I have. I wouldn’t trade my beloved for anything in the world.

 

All of these experiences should have made me realise that there are people out in the world who think of themselves as being better than all the other races in the world.  Despite having come in direct contact with those types of people, it still shocks me to the core every time I come across something new like that.

 

Human nature is something that I don’t think I will ever understand. The concept of truth and what is right and wrong seems to incredibly different among people. Perhaps it is true that truth is indeed relative but surely respect and dignity are the same among all people, irrespective of race, ideology or religion even.

 

The American Declaration of Independence states “that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

 

Or perhaps it was George Orwell who it had it right when he wrote that “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”

 

The reality is that there are still people who start and join pro-apartheid groups. In their own minds they are right. In my mind, they’re a sad pathetic bunch of losers that cannot adapt. 

 

Who’s right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

confessions

It has been a really bad dieting fortnight. I fell of the bandwagon and didn’t bother to get back on. Well they say the first step is to realise that you have made a mistake and then move on. Well here I am recognising that I have fallen of the band wagon and am now trying to get back on.

 

The Random House road show as always was a blast. I love the event. It’s one of my events of the year. Brilliant books as always. Very soon I will be the proud owner of the new Nigella Lawson, a biography of the earth and updated version of one of Delia Smith’s first ever cook books.

 

Yes I opted for a Delia. I do understand that people everywhere will be shaking their heads in dismay at that choice. But I do think that we should not ignore the older classics in favour of the newer ones. All things have their place.

 

 

 

a point I need to make

I feel this is a good time to clear up a misconception that has been bugging me for ages.

 

Just because I am married does not mean that I do not like going out as much as the next person. Actually I may actually just enjoy it a lot more because I’m NOT looking for a quick shag. I’M MARRIED. I can get those anytime I want.

I must admit that I am actually really quite sick of the expectations placed on me as a married individual. As though by getting married I suddenly decided to actually take all the fun out of my life and need to hang out with other married people so we can sit and discuss the ever rising price of potatoes. Trust me when I say that none of my married friends and I have ever discussed the rising price of anything.

Marriage has only added to my lust for life. I now have a partner in crime.

 

I must say that I’m not lobbying to be out partying till dawn every weekend. I’m just making a point that like everybody else on the planet, I would also love to go out and have a great time sometimes.

 

I’m married not in prison.

 

celebrate

Anybody who knows me well enough has often heard about my love for the brilliant Primi Station 4 at Gateway. I have celebrated my last two birthdays there with very special friends.  I had a wonderful time last night. I am so very grateful to my friends who I discovered actually know me very well. It was a lovely evening with good food as always and good service. I had the beef medallions served with parmesan mash and veggies on the side. Delectable! I loved it. Very pricey at R105 but worth every penny.  I must admit though that the rising cost of eating out has forced me to rethink doing it as often as we did. And at the end of the day I think I prefer my own cooking anyway. But when it comes to eating out PRIMI is the standard by which all other restaurants are measured.

 

Of course every good night always has one bad spell to it. The best way to deal with bad spells is to actually just let it go. I guess at the end of the day be grateful for what you do have and don’t think twice about those things that you don’t have. I had about a dozen wonderful friends with me last night and I had a blast.

 

So to all my people THANK YOU so much for coming last night and celebrating with me. None you of you have any idea of how much you each mean to. I think of al of you all the time and miss you all the time. And thanks for all the brilliant gifts. I love them.     

 

 

And for the golden trio of booksellers. We will part again tonight.

 

my birthday present

I have for years wanted a full length jacket like the one pictured below. Now that said jacket is hanging in my cupboard, I am elated at having acquired it.

I think the best things are when you’ve you been wanting something for ages and then you get it as a gift. Almost like someone saw into your head and picked out something they liked and handed it to you.

A jacket like the one I have just been given is a classic, something that never ever goes out of fashion. I will treasure it for the rest of my life. It is without a doubt one of the best gifts I have ever been given.

 

And to my beloved who gave me such a treasure.

 

From the bottom of my butt (because it’s a lot bigger than my heart)

 

THANK YOU.

 

what a brilliant birthday present. A full length wool coat. I love it.

the last day of being 25

Tomorrow is the beginning of a new era. Tomorrow I turn 26.

 

Hectic. I used to think being on the other side of twenty was positively ancient. I don’t think so anymore. I’m looking forward to a good year of being 26, fancy free and my whole life ahead of me. I have some great stuff to look forward to in the coming year as soon as I get over this cold.

 

I will be celebrating in Wednesday night at the fabulous Primi Piatti. There will not be a repeat of last year. After all I’m supposedly older and wiser now.

 

I can taste the lamb chop special even now.

 

 

observation

I must admit that every job has its up and downs. At the moment I’m doing research. I love doing research. There’s something so extremely fulfilling about looking for information, finding a lot of stuff and then having to read and sift through all that information to find what you really need.

 

At the moment I’m looking for a report in Online Banking Practices in Europe. There’s actually more than one report. So I’m looking forward to reading about online banking in Europe. I must admit that part of the report will most likely annoy me. WHY? Because I have no doubt that online banking practice in Europe is so much more superior to online banking in South Africa.

 

Yesterday I spent the day home sick. Today I’m spending the day at work sick.                             

wonder's

It’s a cold Monday morning.  Okay it’s not so cold outside but my office seems to attract the cold. The very walls themselves seem to have a wish to be part of an icebox. I’m in an interesting state of mind at the moment. There are many things to consider and you never really know how the decisions of today are going to affect tomorrow.

 

I’m thinking about what is more important to me. To have a family and life with them or to work my way up the career ladder and see where that takes me. Choices like theses are never easy. On the one hand of I pursue a career, I’d end making lots of money, have a nice house and fancy clothes. But is that what it really important? Or is the love of a family and being able to be with them. But then let’s think about this way – without that brilliantly paying job you can kiss a house and warm food and clothes even maybe goodbye.

 

How do people do it? How do they bring up children? Provide them with a good education and still feed them and clothes them and all the other necessary things. It is something that I am trying to figure out.  What is more important to me?

 

The other side of me says I’m way too young to even be thinking about all this and I should just go out and party.

 

grrr aaargh

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and I’ve been leaving myself mental notes to blog about them.

 

The thing I think that has annoyed me the most this week was the flat blond cow that could not wait 10 seconds for me to turn despite the fact that I had been waiting ages for the person in front of me. Now she had to drive up alongside me ONE THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD and block my view of on-coming traffic on the lane I needed to turn into. Some people are just rude an annoying and just make you want to scream. LOUDLY.

 

Anyway the other problem is that my beloved is away this coming Thursday and Friday night and all my peoples are booked out. I am going to be reduced to sitting around on a couch watching DVD’s or maybe not. We’ll have to see what happens. With the kind of weather we are having now. Not everybody seems keen to be going out. Which is entirely understandable.

I need a new movie playing in my head

I finally understand what it means to be so caught up in something that you loose you head.

 

I finally understand what it means to be part of something so much bigger than yourself and the immediate people around you.

 

I finally understand what it means to hang your head in disbelief and defeat.

 

I finally know what it feels like to be heart broken and crying because your team didn’t win.

 

I finally know that I will still stand proud in my team colours even after disappointment.

 

I know what it means to analyses moments in my head and somehow make changes.

 

I finally know what it means to be a fan.

 

           

Sometimes you spend your time trawling to things that are interesting and sometimes not so interesting. Sometimes you find things you just have to share. This is one of those times.

 

“My brother told an American he was from South Africa... He said 'Isn't that where Apartheid was?' my brother said 'yeah', the American then said.... Wait for it ... 'I didn't know there were any white people there.' “

 

Minutes to Midnight

I got the new linkin park CD last night. As I was buying the CD, a guy next to me said that it was crap and there was no screamer. At least that’s what I think he said. We made a few more purchases and then went back to the car (I lost the parking ticket). Of course the first order of business was to put on the new Linkin Park CD. (for those who need to know, I was patiently waiting for a call to tell me my CD had arrived from my regular store, after no call for two days, I could not wait any longer and got it from a store I hate making purchases from. But well desperate times call for desperate measures. It had been out for two days already and I didn’t have it.

 

Anyway back to the music. YES there was screamer. Track 2 features Chester in all of his throaty glory. Some of the tracks are good old screaming angry Linkin but overall the album has a beautifully mellow sound to it. Linkin Park has grown up and I guess perhaps I have grown up with them. But as always their music still speaks to the soul. I must admit I don’t have the issues I once did so the lyrics for some of the songs simply just pass me bye.

 

The album is brilliant and I can see myself listening to it for days to come. Track 3 (Leave Out The Rest) is brilliant and should be released as a single.

 

I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared
But no one would listen, ’cause no one else cared
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
What am I leaving when I’m done here?

So if you’re asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don’t resent me, and when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest

Leave out all the rest, don’t be afraid
I’ve taken my beating, I’ve shared what I made
I’m strong on the surface, not all the way through
I’ve never been perfect, but neither have you

So if you’re asking me, I want you to know

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don’t resent me, and when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside you’ve learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are

When my time comes, forget the wrong that I’ve done
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed
Don’t resent me, and when you’re feeling empty
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting all the hurt inside you’ve learned to hide so well
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself
I can’t be who you are

I can’t be who you are

 

the madness of it all

I just spent the last 10 minutes furiously dialling 5fm to try win tickets to the Sharks vs. Bulls match on Saturday. I listened for three hours prior to that and had all the correct answers to the questions asked. I think I made 40 calls.

 

And at the moment the lines were open to start calling in to win ticket – my boss decided right there and then would be a good time to have a meeting.

 

Congratulations to all those who won tickets. I am green.

politics

The world to me seems settled at the moment but I am very aware of the swirling mess that is currently dominating the lives of individuals close to me. I was unintentionally involved in the fray. Who knew blogging had an element of danger attached to it? I don’t know the whole story so I will refrain from commenting but rather talk about something that I heard on the radio this morning.

 

Apparently in Cape Town on Monday a 42 year old man was shot four times over a parking space. If you want to know more click here. This morning Highway Radio had a phone in about road rage and what can be done about it. One lady called in saying that the government is at fault and that they are not doing enough about it.

 

To me it seems that when ever anything does not agree with our way or life or our views on the way the world should be, we stop and say “let’s blame the government’. We never seem to stop and say “What can I do to make the problem better?” How can my behaviour change the way the world works? It’s easy enough to blame the government but it never seems easy to take responsibility for our own actions.

 

It is true that perhaps the government can do something about road rage, but then we’d find something else to complain about. The crime is bad, the roads are not clean. There’s too much of one thing and not enough of another. South Africa is a beautiful country with beautiful people who are all content to blame the government for everything.

 

I personally think there are lot of mistakes that have been made, are being made and will be made in the future but we really need to actually take responsibility for ourselves instead of screaming “GOVERNMENT” every time.

 

 

 

 

 

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN

Today has been a weird day. Stuff happens. But I’ve also just found out that I’ve been awarded a bursary for my studies.

 

Which is great and it means no more messing around. Having a bursary means working hard.

 

 

blah

The spell check on my computer is not working and I have no idea why. Also I’m a bit to busy to actually look at making sure my spelling is correct. I am still swirling in a world of disappointment and I left my mobile phone at home.

 

My birthday is in 22 days. My birthday is also the day Paris Hilton begins her own prison break journey.

 

Is that a birthday present or what?