Desperate Housewife

Back in the day before my two years of 8-5 employment, I was rather handy with a few baking ingredients and a good stove. Today marked what was meant to be my triumphant return to the baking arena.

Alas at present this is not so. I'm very tempted to blame the oven. After all I have followed the instructions exactly. That is what I do. But the banana bread I put into the oven half an hour ago is still not baked and I have no idea why. It very well could be the oven.

I am without doubt VERY disappointed. After all I do have a reputation to maintain. A reputation that has been on hold for two years but a reputation none the less. My speciality used to be Million Dollar Short bread. It was a gift to every one everywhere. The decedent combination of short bread topped with caramel and chocolate was enough to make even the manliest man swoon in anticipation.


But right now what was meant to be a wonderful banana loaf is not. Perhaps I should start from the beginning again.

Biscuits.

days with out job:

too many to count

So the days have been passing by. I spent most of December (after my life altering situation) in front of the TV watching endless episodes of CSI. I now look for signs of crimes every where I go. The new year rolled in and EVERYONE went back to work. Except me. The jobless one.

I stayed home and watched countless epsiodes of mindless drivel. Right at the top of the list would be Gosspi Girl. I watched the first season in three days I think. I went totally overboard on the first day and watch 13 episodes. I had to live somehow and watching the fictional rich and naughty of the upper east side seemed like a good way. It remnided me of the days that Shane and I spent watching endless episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and other favourite things. (we watched Sahara AGAIN the other day)

But Gossip Girl got me thinking about blogging. Specifially my own blog. I've not an introspective thing and gone reading back in time for a while and I wonder what I would find. Our troubles and problems don't seem so far off from what their own COULD be. They have some of the same kind of problems in better clothing which begs the question. Would my current situation be alot better with a few Waldorf originals.

I have thought about it and that would be an emphatic YES. I'de be able to sell the Waldorf originals on e-bay and buy a car.


and becasue I've watched to many episodes and it's stuck in my head.

you know you love me
xoxo

not sixteen candles

Sixteen days into the New Year and unfortunately the awaited phone call has still not arrived. Durban unfortunately is nothing like Johannesburg. At most there are two job posting on the Biz community website. Johannesburg on the other hand fills the entire page … just for one day.

I must admit that it is becoming pretty boring staying at home day after day after day. It all becomes very repetitive. Life changes and moves on. The things we take for granted disappear and we are forced to re-evaluate our situation.

I meant to tell everyone that I am very grateful to be alive right after the accident but I never really for around to it. Life changed faster than I could blink. When I opened my eyes, it had all changed.

I thought things had gone bad after I got retrenched but then I lost my car and worse went even lower but in the middle of that I still had my life. But it’s all mixed feelings. In the accident I hurt my hand and the simple act of picking up a coffee cup became a monumental task and then MISS INDEPENDENT had to rely on someone else for everything even taking my clothes off (not that he complained about that partJ). But even without the use of my hand I realised it could have all been so much worse. I could have lost the hand itself, I could have had my legs ripped open BUT none of it happened.

I suppose then that my biggest thing is that I should on my hands and knees and express my undying gratitude. I am able to do that but it doesn’t make life any easier. I don’t have a car or a job. But that doesn’t make me ungrateful. It only makes me human. No one could ever understand how grateful I am to be alive. It’s a topic I’m harping on, I know. But I never said thank you. So here goes.

To my mother – you taught me to be independent and to be strong. But you also taught me to have compassion and to help people even if they don’t deserve it.

To my darling brother - I love you more than you know and as long as I’m allowed to I will be here for whatever you need and NEVER judge you.

To the rest of my family: it takes a village to raise a child, thank you for raising me to be the extraordinary individual that I am.

To my wonderful friends, Antony, Baheya, Chris, Jacques and Shayne: You guys are my best friends. You mean more to me that you will ever know and I value your friendship and your input into my life.

To every one else in my life: don’t take me for granted. I ALMOST DIED.

To my darling husband: (insert corny lines here).

To GOD: thank you. There’s not really anything more that I can say.

FOUR MONTHS

There's been a lot going on in my life that I have not blogged about. In four months, life as I knew it changed drastically in ways that I could not have previously imagined. It all began in August last year. My laptop along with my mobile phone and my unborn child’s Max Lucado DVD were stolen out my Sunday school class at church. At the time I was very angry and hurt and very pissed off. I mean really. Who does that??? Who steals stuff from church?

At the time I didn’t realise that my journey was only just beginning. The next thing that happened was the fire in the kitchen. I have no idea how it started except that we no longer have an extractor above the stove. It wasn’t really a big deal outside of the horror of seeing the black billowing smoke inside the house. None the less we acted sensibly and switched on the electricity before dosing the entire thing in water.

Next up was my job. TWICE. Once in October and then again in November. This was both a blessing and a curse. It meant that I got December Holidays to myself and got to do what I wanted.

And then came December. December when I spent time doing nothing. Until December 12 when another car hit mine wrecking my car and my outlook on life entirely.

I suppose being in an almost dead situation can change your outlook on life. Before the accident I was dreading the New Year and the job-hunting situation. Now I’m just happy to be alive. I may not have a car or a nine-five job at the moment but I’m still here.

I’m also told that this kind of experience doesn’t leave you easily and really why should it?

I’m still alive and I’m holding on to that one single truth.

and this is the story

I realise that many people are going to ask what happened. in order to prevent the annoyance of having to REPEAT myself to everyone (which gets annoying very quickly)

 

 

I went to pick up Tim and Shantal from the Mount Edgecombe Conference Centre and then we headed off the drop Shantal off at her house in Palmview. We were driving along the M41 towards Verulam when a white car clipped a bakkie two cars aheads and then hit a car in front of us and then hit us head on. I swerved to the left which resulted in the front right side of my car being taken out entirely. My car is now sitting waiting to be processed to be written off.

 

that's it. the long and short

 

Three cars were hit and mine was the last. I was hit head on. The worst of my injuries is my wrist but as I can still type all of this, it's NOT that bad.

 

Of course in TRUE me fashion, I still went out to a party after my brief stint in the hospital.

I'm done with Crystal

I changed my name back on facebook today. I really enjoyed my stint as Crystal Meth.

 

Our actions and the re-actions of others are some times entirely unexpected. Changing my facebook name to Crystal Meth was not an action meant to be controversial or anything like that. It was fun of the mostly harmless kind.

 

Not everyone over reacted and I would like to thank the people who treated it the way it was meant to be taken - a good laugh at the strange names that people sometimes have.

 

The list is by no means exhaustive but Crystal is my favourite.

 

OMG ... HSM3 ... WTF???

Toby, Dylan and Kayla. Two nephews and a niece and the possibility of another of each on the way but its two early to tell yet.

Toby lives within a 5km radius of me so I do see him with semi regular frequency. He also gets showered with gifts semi regularly frequently. Little nick naks thing courtesy of McDonald and Baron Sandwich’s children’s meal. Kayla and Dylan don't live so very close to me. So the gift thing happens just about only once a year. This annual gift sending however has to be decent to make up for birthdays and Christmas’s' that have been missed.

Thus every year begins the annual hunt for a few good gifts and despite promising myself that I'll stock up as the year progresses. So in the final weeks as the count to lift off begins, I find my self engaging in a frantic effort to find the perfect memorable educational entirely fun gifts.

A tall order

Dylan is nearly three. So anything that has wheels and is movable counts. And thanks to my input Spiderman and Batman count as well. Now as a child who was into spiderman and Batman cartoons, I can relate to the almost three year old. Bat Mobile ??? Bring it on anytime.

Kayla on the other hand is a little girl. I don’t remember being a little girl. I didn’t have a Barbie. I had a police car and handcuffs. So delving into the world of little girl things is new and incredible scary for me. It was in this journey that I discovered the Jonas Brothers, Hannah Montana and High School Musical.

Previously there were all just names. Names and titles that I breezed by during my daily read of WENN news on IMDB.COM. Today in a trip to get a Spiderman Car (tiny but looks like the bat mobile) I discovered the world of High School Musical otherwise known as HSM. It was enough to leave my head spinning.

There are sticker books WITHOUT STICKERS, wall hangings, games, posters, poster books. The cherry in the proverbial HSM (as it is known in popular circles) was the figurines that cost R329.00 which nearly made me cry.

Those little children that women sometimes spend hours bringing into the world have the nerve to go on ahead and follow a trilogy of musicals that costs thousand of dollars in a supposedly “dying” economy. So while poor people who earn R2500 survive barely making ends meet, Troy and Gabrielle lounge around in New York Penthouses while their looks alikes sit under Christmas trees.

I guess it’s hard being a parent and an Aunt. I closed my eyes and took the HSM stationary set. At least she can use it while getting an education.

boredom makes me blog

it's begun

and it's only the 4th of December.

there are 10 days to go till Tim is also on leave and in 11 days I will be married for FOUR years.
how time flies.

The annoying thing is that I usually have stuff to say and then when I actually sit down to say it, I forget entirely like now. I'm pretty certain that I had a great deal of really very intelligent things to say this morning when I was fast asleep.

if you know anyone who can make shorts, please let me know. I got some really cool material and would like some shorts

the best of times and the worst of times

So last Friday was my last day as an employee of Primedia@home. Now I'm one of around 74 000 people who have been affected by the current economic "crisis". The same crisis that has malls being built all around the country.

Many people are a little weary of my rather light hearted attitude to my current predicament. I find that a little annoying. They all fail to realise that my particular situation is not as dire as others affected by the crisis and that I still have LOADS to be grateful and thankful for.

Bring retrenched opens up a whole new world of opportunities for me. Opportunities that I should seize with both hands and make the best off.

Thank fully I have a job at exclusive books in La Lucia otherwise I might go spare from the boredom.

the best of times: I get all of December off to laze around the beach and do nothing all day

the worst of times: i hate being bored.

my huband thinks I'm ....

HOT

It's almost midnight and i can't sleep. I really hate it when that happens.

I have nine days left at primedia. Who knows what they will hold.

it's hump day

Apparently Wednesday's are hump day's.

Who knew.

on a few things

ON WORK
First I was retrenched.

I even had a last day lunch and all that nonsense only to find out that I had not been retrenched YET.

All of this poses a bit of a problem as it pretty much puts the rest of my life on hold until THE COMPANY decides on a course of action.


ON POLITICS
I had some really profound things to say about the state of the nation, Barack Obama and all that. But now the only thing that’s on my mind is Jacob Zuma’s decree that’s there too much sex and violence on TV.

I only have one thing to say to darling Jacob
“If you think there’s too much sex on TV, get off the TV”


ON OTHER MATTERS
I had my first escapade as a bar tender. Went rather well in my opinion, I now know how to make a Bob Marley, a shit in the forest and a Women’s Revenge. I even made a few jagger bombs on the day.

Unfortunately I have no pics of me to mark the occasion.
Alas but that’s life.

ON LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING
42

on a few things

ON WORK
First I was retrenched.

I even had a last day lunch and all that nonsense only to find out that I had not been retrenched YET.

All of this poses a bit of a problem as it pretty much puts the rest of my life on hold until THE COMPANY decides on a course of action.


ON POLITICS
I had some really profound things to say about the state of the nation, Barack Obama and all that. But now the only thing that’s on my mind is Jacob Zuma’s decree that’s there too much sex and violence on TV.

I only have one thing to say to darling Jacob
“If you think there’s too much sex on TV, get off the TV”


ON OTHER MATTERS
I had my first escapade as a bar tender. Went rather well in my opinion, I now know how to make a Bob Marley, a shit in the forest and a Women’s Revenge. I even made a few jagger bombs on the day.

Unfortunately I have no pics of me to mark the occasion.
Alas but that’s life.

ON LIFE, THE UNIVERSE AND EVERYTHING
42

I may have made a mistake

ooops???

it's too late now as I have already committed myself.

Friday night sees me behind the bar for BURN'S annual halloween party

this is not at all a career change but more of and exercise in a laugh a minute.

as per the demand

My last post was a long time ago. If you read further down, you'll find the date yourself.

The last year of my life or so has not been chronicled by me on a public website. A lot has happened.

I suppose in some ways, it has been a difficult year. At the beginning of the year I was given a chance and then had it yanked out from underneath me despite having consistently proved myself. As horrible and pathetic as this might seem, I’m back in the situation that resulted in me being where I am at the moment. All is not lost however, there are plans in the works to make life better or worse … depending in which direction things go.

I must admit, I miss blogging. I liked being able to put my opinions out there for anyone and everyone to read and judge me for. But things have not quite worked out the way I planned. I got my very own laptop and before I became even accustomed to owning one. It was cruelly ripped out my hands.

From church no less.

In the painful days and weeks following the event, I spent much time crying. How could I not? I worked hard for the things I got and to have them taken from me was an incredible betrayal. It still is.

But I suppose you move on. We all move on eventually

hello ... how are you?

it's been a long long time since the last post.

nothing serious happened till now.

And yet I'm reluctant to talk about it other than to say balls of fury.
I've grown a lot since my last post. I stood strong while the waves crashed around me.

perhaps that was the reason for the lack of posting. growth is such a personal thing and while it is important to talk about, perhaps this is not the right setting.

I now officially have an Internet connection at home so if there's a long time between this and the next post. I unfortunately have no excuse.

or I might. I might start growing again.

I'm looking to extending myself. reaching beyond what I thought I could do. Pushing to the next hurdle.

Sometimes the only way to learn to swim is to jump in the deep end. Sometimes you drown. Sometimes you swim.

I am a big ball of smiles

yesterday was not a very easy day for me.

 

 

today I'm all SMILES

 

Today in the first week of the month

 

I MADE budget.

trying to clear my head

This week is not the best week in history for me.

 

Life is not like Toyota where everything keeps going right. This week it all seems to be falling apart. Like Chineu Achebe. Things fall apart.

Except this time it has nothing to do with colonialism. Perhaps this is a moment that I just need some choc chip ice cream and a bed and time to just fall apart.

 

This I suppose is a moping post and it has much to do with my disposition right now.

Yesterday was the most annoying day with the realisation that sometimes family can drive you up the fucking wall.  

 

You try to help people and they turn around and kick you in the butt and then blame you for it.

I called some people to tell them about a job opportunity. Very limited time offer. They call me an hour before the end of the workday to ask what's going on. Unfortunately I work in a world of deadlines. If you can't meet a deadline, don't expect me to come running after you and then sure as hell DO NOT BLAME ME FOR YOUR BLOODY INEFFICIENCY. I do not give a rat's ass about whether you are upset or not

I'm over that. Like someone very special told me. "Don't waste energy on unimportant un intelligent people. IT'S TOO MUCH EFFORT."

 

Unfortunately no one told me what to do about the important intelligent people.  

Perhaps things are falling apart and if they are, I will stand up and be counted.

 

Today a part of me died. It's gone and I may never get it back.

 

 

In the interest of never having parts of me die again here are some tips on being friends with me.

 

 

1)      Don't ever stop talking to me. Gary Chapman of the five love languages says that people have love tanks that need to be filled. My is talking. Talking to me says to me that you acknowledge me. That you see and hear me. Talk at me, scream at me. Whatever you do or don't do. JUST NEVER EVER NOT TALK TO ME.

 

This rule applies only in an argument and is actually the only rule to being friends with me.

 

This is a very strange post cos right now I'm in a very strange mood. 

I am a blue flame of furious

I could be Jack's raging bile duct.

 

There are moments in your life when throwing a tantrum is perfectly acceptable. When you want to scream and shout and throw things around.

I had one of those days yesterday.

 

My darling husband bought me an MP4 player and a FM modulator for Christmas.

My darling cousin Jackie put loads of music on it for me. Music to my hearts content

In theory a perfect concept and then the damn thing stopped working.

I had a little tantrum where I called Tim and screamed about buying stupid no name CRAP and then proceeded to calm down courtesy of the brilliant sounds of Tiesto.

After my meeting, I sat in my car and painstakingly tried to figure out what was wrong with the MP4 player and all it's friends. I did so. I even managed to get to the stage where I had plugged in some head phones and happily driving along listening to Alanis Morrisette. It seemed fitting to have her mournful cadence filling my ears.

I was driving along happily singing along

And then

 

AND THEN.

 

THE ****ING BATTERY DIED.

 

The battery died.

This then resulted in another call to Tim that featured loads of alternate screaming and hysterical laughing. You know what they say. You scream or laugh. I did both.

 

AND THEN

 

I was told that I'm doing enough work, despite having three very lucrative potential things on the table. I understand where management is coming from. I really do understand.

I really really do.

BUT

I was having a bad day.

And as rational as the thoughts may be, I was not really in the mood to hear them. As I've said a million times before. BAD DAY

 

The absolute cherry on the cake was ordering a toasted sandwich and it wasn't toasted.

 

By this stage I was in no mood to deal with anything at all ever.

 

But I'm okay now.

 

At least I think so