I am scared.

Of course I am

People keep asking me if I’m nervous and I keep thinking why are you asking me such a stupid question. It’s a very polite question, one that must be smiled at and politely answered.
“No I’m doing great” because nobody really wants to know if I’m scared or not. No one wants to know if I wake up in the middle of the night with my over active imagination running wild and thinking about all the strange possibilities that are so very unlikely but just might happen. The kind of stuff that you see on ‘The Twilight Zone’ like something going wrong with the anesthetic and I’m trapped unable to move or tell anyone that I’m awake and can feel every single last cut that is made.

I think it’s stupid to ask people if they are okay. What kind of answer do you expect? Do you really expect them to say NO I’m not okay? In fact when you ask, do you really actually even care?

Another thing that annoys me is when people say it’s the cherry on top. Do people realize that the cherry is the most insignificant thing? You eat it and then it’s gone. Other than decoration it’s not really anything. Nobody ever says that they remembered the cherry. You only ever remember the desert. So what’s the point of saying it’s the cherry on top?

I think as a society we should make an effort to stop asking pointless questions. This is the list
Are you okay?
How was the honeymoon?
How’s married life?
Are you scared?
Are you nervous?

Don’t ask questions just to be polite. Rather just
SHUT THE HELL UP

Pre-post

This is a pre-post. That mean it’s a post before a post. Whatever. Has anyone really noticed the pre-everything that we have now that supposedly makes everything easier to do? Pre-cooked, pre-washed, pre-clean, pre-this, that and the other. My favorite is pre post-colonial. I think I like that one best. It’s before and after.

Are we gonna have pre-death as well?

Where you’re dead but not actually?

I’ve been de-cousined … AGAIN.

Indeed it has been a while since my last post and a lot has happened since then. But let me assure you that I’m still here and stronger than ever.

I went to my first all nighters this weekend. My only regret was that I did not have the original party girl to share it with. She said she was tooo tired. Anyway there’s always next time. Turns out that I impressed some people (at least one person anyway) being on the dance floor all night.

I’m told there’s a certain amount of guilt that one feels the next day, I feel nothing. No guilt at all. Au contraire, I can’t wait for the next time.

Anyway getting back to the topic of this post. As I said I’ve been de-cousined. This time without all the humming and ceremonially jargon that marked the first fortunate occasion. This time around I also didn’t get my R2 from the mother of the head of the party. I suppose with inflation it should be R200 now. But I’m older and wise and got a bit more than that in the bank so I’ll waive that aside.

In other news my 26 year inning of not going to hospital has finally come to an end. After two hours of throwing up the non-existent contents of my stomach, I went to the emergency room at the hospital. It’s really not my fault. Where else can you find a doctor at 1 in the morning?

It was only two hours and I don’t think it quite counts. But I was there with a drip in my arm so I guess it will have to do. On the upside even though it was the morning at least I was out in two hours.

That counts. No over night stays in hospital. 26 years and counting.

welcome, welcome

Presenting Toby Joshua Holroyd born at 9:30 19th October 2007.


Clearly one of the highlights of the weekend. The other was without a doubt South Africa winning the Rugby.

The final highlight was finally cleaning out our spare bedroom. It's now all clean and clear and ready for us to make a mess of it again.
I also only have one exam left. Afrikaans. JOY. Once that is over I'll be home free.

So many changes have taken place in the last month and changes are sometimes good things. it's nice to not be bored all the time irrespective of how this might affect posting to my online journal. I suppose this is more for me to remember than for anyone else :)

It's been a good month and I think the year is gonna get alot better. Christmas is just around the corner and I would have had my car for a year. I think I'm forgetting what it feels like to not have my own car. FINALLY.

that's it for now. I'm looking forward to this weekend and to holding Toby for the first time later today. I'm also looking forward to a good night's sleep and a good session at gym.

the first day of the second week

so on the first day of the second week of my new job and I was stuck in traffic for a whole hour. that kinda thing really sucks. I mean really it's the last thing you and of course is the first thing to happen.

everything's going well so far. including my diet but i'm stuck in a time zone. i need to study and guess what?
no really guess

I DON'T WANT TO.

not much of a surprise is it?

I'm weaning myself of facebook. the biggest thing keeping me there is Fighters Club. An application that I am without doubt addicted to.

if this posts seems entirely free of something going wrong or something crazy in the air, it's becasue it is.
There are always things going wrong but I suppse that's life.

Sometimes you're up,
Sometime's you're down,
Sometimes your head is spinning all around.

thank you my darling

In the establishment of any relationship, I do believe it should take a certain amount of time before one finally gives and uses cutesy little names like my darling or sweet heart or baby.

With regards to this there are two types of people in the world. Those that don’t mind being called very popular endearments by strangers they speak to on the phone or people that you just met and then there are the people who do mind. I mind.

There’s a certain sense of fakeness for me in that. How can you call someone you’ve never met darling? I suppose it also cheapens it when people that you are very dear to call you that. So that’s my little gripe today.

Comparatively speaking compared to what I’ve been feeling over the last week, it’s very minor.

So it’s my first week at my new job and I’m loving it. The days have been filled with an array of activity including trying to get the switchboard to work. The last two weeks have been a bit of a topsy turvy. I’ve been looking forward to moving on from MW and at the same time spent a great deal of time wondering if I have what it took to do the job I had been hired to do. I knew that logically I could do it and be really good at it but there was always the doubt at the back of my mind. There has also been a lot of drama going on.

Friends come and go. They disappear from your life for a while and then come back and you pick up from where you left of. Others are always there in the background and you meet once in a while and it’s a constant. The relationship is great and you never put much pressure on each other. Then there are the friends that come into your life for a small season who tend to take everything they can from you and then move onto the next person.

Unfortunately you never know who these people are. Sometimes you get warned and then don’t pay attention to the warnings. You tend to believe in your own strength and loyalty and then hope it rubs off onto that person. After all, how can somebody that you put that much effort into, not have the decency to return it?

When that happens, you’re left wondering how you could be so blind and stupid. Let me say right now. It’s not me.

I made every effort and I am a good friend. I feel no guilt about this relationship falling apart. Actually to be honest, I’m relieved that we no longer can be friends. In fact we stopped being friends once she went back to her trashy boyfriend for what seems like the 50^th time in a sixth month period. Personally I prefer to surround myself with people who value themselves. She really doesn’t so it’s actually a relief to let this go.

The important thing is that I got my shoes back. Keep your casual ‘invites’

To everyone who has been a good friend (and you can judge yourself) THANK YOU. If you’re not you only get out what you put in.

I"M DISGUISTING

This post is quite personal because I’m finally putting the proverbial pen to paper and letting it all go.

 

The cricket is finally over. I can rest at last. It’s been a long two weeks. I am emotionally and physically drained. I think the biggest disappointment over the last two weeks was being told that I’m disgusting. Not all of the facts were obtained, in fact they were not even asked about. Judgement was made and that was the sentence,

 

According to my mother, the women who gave birth to me I’m disgusting and so at the age of 26 I’ve finally given up trying to please my mother. It’s harder that I ever could have ever imagined.

 

Gary Chapman wrote a book called The Five Love Languages. The basic premise of this book is that to show someone you love them, you do it in a way that makes sense to them. My love language is words of affirmation. Tim’s love language is physical touch. Jeremy’s I think is gifts. The long and short of it is that if you to tell me you love and appreciate me, say so in words, give Tim a hug and buy Jeremy something (again I think)

 

Words apparently have the power to speak life and death into people hearts, souls and minds. After mother’s emphatic declaration on Saturday morning, I spent the rest of the weekend in a daze. I felt like I wasn’t really there. All those people depending on me, all those journalists who knew my name and depended on me, did they think I was disgusting to? I felt unreal. Smiling and laughing happily and putting on a brilliant show. All the while wondering if those people also thought I was fake, did they also think I was disgusting?

 

 

So if I seem overtly sensitive, If I seem like I’m trying to hard, if I come across as being entirely unsure of myself and trying to hard to please, it’s because I’m still reeling.  

 

A lot of people may be angered by me putting this on my blog. I don’t really care actually if this offends anyone. Dr Seuss said that the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind. Perhaps it’s not very relevant for this situation but well do I really look like I care?

 

Oh and by the way I’m disgusting because of magazines that I didn’t buy and requesting something that I asked to be returned to me. If there is anything I learnt from this whole episode, it’s that you really can’t trust anybody. There’s no such thing as in-confidence anymore.

 

So a word to the wicked:

Keep all your secrets to your self

 

It turns out for those of you who are unaware that there are perks to being a volunteer. This is one of them. It was very exciting doing this. Yep that’s me next to Mahendra.

It’s been a tiring last two weeks. Emotionally there’s been a lot to deal with. If you saw the last post that was deleted, well I did that because I decided it was something personal.

The tournament is almost over and I’m looking forward to the up coming public holiday and a good session at gym. I’m also looking forward to a decent home cooked meal and a decent solid 8 hours of sleep.
I have to say though despite the late hours and the working of two jobs, I’ve had the time of my life. This is an experience of a life time and I loved it.

Prelim draws here I come.

grumble

The next three days are going to be tiring and very very exciting. Today marks the start of the very first Twenty20 Cricket World Championship. It’s an event that I am very proud to be part of. Unfortunately the timing of the wonderful experience could not have been worse.

At my current job, we are busy preparing for the second Master Class this year. This requires a lot of effort and pain. For the life of me I can not understand the South African attitude to research and information in general. It’s almost a though someone somewhere along the line declared that all research and information was entirely useless and that they all had to plod along unsuspecting and without a clue.

 

Information is important and research is vital to understanding the world. Anyone who has ever watched an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer is aware of how helpful research can be.

 

So I am at a loss in terms of understanding the South African attitude. I honestly really don’t get it. And perhaps that is the source of my frustration with my current job. I see the value of the service we provide and I do not understand why few other people do.  

 

 

random things

This is for the random things that are taking up space in my head.

 

1)      I wonder if Munro du Toit will be able to make it to the end of Idols.

2)      How come there was kykNet Idols and there is KykNet but there is no South African Channels dedicated to other race groups? I want to be on Indian idols!

3)      Why are the last twenty minutes of the work day going by so slowly?

4)      Who will win the T20 match between India and Pakistan?

 

I think my pet peeve at the moment is wondering who is the infinite wisdom thought it would be a good idea to stage the first ever T20 Cricket World Cup during the Rugby World Cup?

 

Attention is divided. Anyone who enjoys both cricket and rugby will hopefully not be happy.

 

checkerboard?

People who know me are aware of my views on racism intended and unintended. The reality of life is that all ethnic groups see things differently. What can be considered perceived by one group of people is not necessarily untrue for another group. Everyone is aware of our bloody and violent history and yes it true that all of this is behind us now. But if you look closely you can see the fine lines, the cracks in the plaster of democracy and racial unity in South Africa.

 

Whether you want to admit or not racism is still alive and well in South Africa. Entirely covert but it is still there. You can’t wipe out years of oppressive thinking in just over a decade and to be truthful there are groups of people in South Africa who do still believe that the country rightfully belongs to them because they made it possible for roads and buildings and everything else that comprises the concrete jungle.

 

So what brought this on? My trip to Joe Cools on Saturday night. Here is it in black and white from someone who does not believe in pulling the race card crap.

 

I find some of the patrons at Joe Cool’s Racist.

 

If you are white and you find this offensive, too bad because I found the looks of hostility directed towards me also very offensive. Just in case anyone was wondering I could actually see you looking at me.

 

The question I suppose is do I care?

 

Yes I do. I do actually care because I would like the freedom to go where I want to without feeling uncomfortable. I paid the same as everyone else to get in there and I’m annoyed that I wasn’t as welcome as everybody else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

the end of the week

It’s been interesting and slightly stressful few days. The biggest thing was that my boss at my current job wanted me to stay till the 8^th of October and the new company wanted me to start on the 1^st so there was a bit of a tug of war that I was involved in. Personally from a financial point of view I think it would have made more sense to start of a new job at the beginning of a new month. It just helps in avoiding all that pro rata nonsense. But well I suppose they will have people to handle all of that.

 

I am looking forward to this weekend. Tomorrow night a friend and I are going to celebrate our new jobs along with a whole lot of other people. She wasn’t always a friend but I think that was more circumstantial than anything. The bridging of this particular gap has left me with a sense of fulfilment.  I’m thinking that finally at the tender age of 26, I’m maturing. Only a little though. The thing is that I’ve come to the conclusion that there were forces at work that did not really want us to be friends. One of those forces also went around telling people that I was so very much in love with him WHILE I was planning my wedding. Who knew? Apparently everybody but me. Clearly I was too busy with the wedding.

 

Well I feel like the hatched has been buried and I’m glad. This is just another example of things going well.

 

One thing that is not going so well is tae bo.

 

Let me elaborate. Tae bo is lovely and fast passed and one of the best cardio work outs in my opinion. There are all sorts of kicks and punches and jab and all that. Occasionally there are routines. Routines that involve fancy footwork things that you need to pay attention to. Now anyone who knows me knows I’m on the less fit side of the fence. So the routines sometimes kill me. More often than not I feel like an elephant stomping around trying to do these apparently complicated routines. An added annoyance is that the routines change every class. I only ever manage to get the hang of it by the end of the class and when I come back the next time I have to start from scratch.

 

As annoying and frustrating as it is, I will however stand and take a bow for sticking with it. I’m getting used to pain. Supposedly it makes you stronger. Yes well that’s only if you don’t DIE first.

 

 

the first day of the rest of your life

Everyday can be the first day of the rest of your life.

 

In the last few weeks I've been taking steps to get my life going. sometimes honestly I do feel like I'm missing something, as though life just passed me by and I never took the steps to grab hold and take plunge. Maybe that's the reason I'm an avid supporter of the lifestyle Jeremy has embraced which as all of you may know has been the source of endless discussion. Some may argue that perhaps I'm trying to live vicariously through my brother.

 

Well just to put the record straight - I'm not. I just want him to experience all that life has to offer. Within limits of course. If Jeremy or any of my family for that matter ever do something so stupid, it warrents a visit to the nearest psyce ward, they'll hear about it ... loudly. (that includes you!)

 

But that is not what this post is about. In the last few weeks I've been putting into place steps to rectify that situation. Tae bo and going back onto the diet with a vengence, make lifestyle plans and changes and today the biggest event of them all - signing my letter of appointment to my new job.

 

I start on the 1st of October as the new Juniour Account Executive for Primedia @Home. This is an excellent move for me. I've really been feeling like I've been stagnating and just waving as life passed me by in the last few months so this is almost like drinking from the fountain of youth for me.

 

So today is the first day of the rest of my life. A life filled with the satisfaction of knowing that i'm not sitting on my butt but actually going out there are doing something worthwhile.

It’s been ten years since the beloved Princess of Wales was killed in a car crash. There are something’s in life we never forget. I remember exactly where I was when I found about the Twin Towers in New York. I remember Jeremy walking into my room saying Diana was dead on the Sunday morning. I remember walking into the lounge and seeing my mother glued to the images on screen of the crash sadly.

Everybody loved the princess. Well almost everybody. The jury’s still out on Charles, Camilla and the rest of the Royals outside of Harry and William of course.

Thanks to working in a bookstore, I’ve seen personally how many South Africans admire and loved the Princess. And rightfully so. She was an amazing woman who rose up beyond the circumstances constricting and killing her to bring hope to thousands of people across the world. Diana even in death seems to reach out to people across the globe. There just seemed to be something about her that screamed I’m a living breathing person just like you. There was nothing stiff about her.

Her brother Charles Spencer had it right when he referred to Diana as “The People’s Princess … who needed no Royal title to wield her particular brand of magic.”
Personally I think she was a beautiful woman who gave all that she had to offer. I also think it’s wonderful that William got his looks from his mother

still

I feel like I’m sitting at the edge of an abyss waiting to fall. The next few days are going to be tricky and wonderful all at the same time. There’s the beautiful smell of spring in the air and every where everything seems to be coming to life. Just like the years I think our lives go in seasons, maybe not in the correct sequences but seasons all the same. I personally feel that I’ve been in autumn for the last year. And it feels like spring in on its way for me and after spring comes summer are summer is always fun and wonderful.

 

I’m taking a step of faith here. To everyone who knows me I ask you to please pray for the situation I’m in right now. You don’t need to know the specifics. Just pray that everything will come together as it is meant to. If it means I stay back in autumn well then I still know there’s a plan and purpose for my life and my time is still coming.

 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

Thanks to everyone who has shown their support. Hopefully soon I’ll have wonderful news for you all. And before you ask,

NO I’M NOT TRYING TO HAVE A BABY.

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People everywhere are in a dead panic.

entirely accidental

Just when it seems that there is nothing noteworthy for me to say due to the whirlwind that is currently dominating my time, I arrive at a very strange place.

 

Those of you who have known me for a long time are aware of my distaste for the colour PINK. This is of course in part due to my mothers attempts to ensure that I lived in girl world. Everything I had was pink, my bedding, the walls in my room, my clothes. It felt like there was pink everywhere.

For the longest time I ran screaming in the other direction whenever faced with the colour but then I grew up I guess and realised that wearing pink sometimes does have it's advantages. So i began to re-introduce the colour into my wardrobe.

 

Today entirely by accident I find myself at the gym dressed entirely in pink. Right down to my pink playboy knickers.

 

Maybe I should remove the pink again.

It’s been a long time since my last post. There is a lot going on at present. Each story is in a different stage and none have come to any sort of definite conclusion. This is why I have not been posting. It seems that there are sparks here, there and everywhere but the stories are not complete and I suppose I can’t bring myself to placing them here in the public eye for fear I might jeopardise something or the other.

 

This is just a note so you know that I’m still here and the lack of posting has more to do with the current whirlwind that I’m in rather than lack of events to talk about.  

 

After all it is me. There’s always something to talk about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

he's what?

Is Wentworth Miller gay?

 

The press seems to think so despite the fact that Wentworth himself has denied it publicly a few times. The truth is that hundred of hopeful females around the world don’t want him to be gay. They also didn’t want Will Young to be gay. After all if he was there’s goes that chance of scoring with him somehow.

 

Apparently the agents for Thomas Dekker who plays Zach in the hit TV show Hero’s was pulled off the show for playing a gay character. There seems to be a big fascination with Hollywood and being gay. You either are and they love you or you’re not and they try force you into being one.

 

If Wentworth is gay does it really change the fact that he is really actually in fact extremely good looking? I don’t think it will change his star appeal. He’ll last till the next big thing.

You’re only a star until the next hot guy.

 

Hmm Channing Tatum. Soon he’ll be gay too.

 

And bloody hell can we take a moment and remember he’s an actor. He should be able to act straight or gay.

drat and then double drat

I’m pretty certain it’s a little too early for me to be at work but here I am anyway. Sometimes we make sacrifices without realising what the consequences are. Like today for example; I sacrificed an hour of sleep without realising that I would be sitting in my office way to early in the morning with no decent coffee or food and work to do. Because generally that it what one does at the office – work.

 

Drat and then double drat.

I just had to share

Associated Magazines' Women on Wheels supplement recently announced the winners of the inaugural motoring awards to celebrate the best cars built for women, as decided by women. Category winners were Toyota Yaris (Best Car for Women under R100 000); Honda Jazz (Best Car for Women between R100 000 and R200 000); Volvo C30 (Best Executive Model); Volvo XC70 (Best Mum's Taxi); BMW X3 (Best SUV/MPV); Porsche Cayenne V6 (Best 4x4); and Chevrolet Spark (Nedbank Best Value for Money Car of the Year).

source

for Jackie ... a post.

It’s been a long weekend and I am in desperate need of a quiet place and a good book. My office is cold … again and the job search goes on as these things usually do.

The interview on Friday went not in the way I’d hoped which just goes to show: recognise your sources for what they are and always remember to place things in context. It’s very important.

 

Most of Thursday was taken up by Tim’s surprise breakfast bash, getting my car washed and preparing for Friday’s interview. Friday was interview in the morning and then I spent the rest of the day watching the most brilliant TV show in recent times. HEROS’s.

 

I’ll refrain from discussing my views and feeling on the final episode other than to say I can’t wait for the next season to be available.

To me this is bloody Buffy all over again.

 

Saturday and Sunday were mostly taken up by volunteer training for the T20 cricket world cup to be held in South Africa in September this year. Training is a boring but necessary evil. Thankfully it was interspersed by a lovely stay over at Reservoir Hills.  It has been a long time since I stayed over. I spent most of Saturday night watching One Tree Hill and do think I may have watched one of the best episodes of the series judging by the episodes before and after. Now I’m in a state. I need to know what happens to Peyton. My theory is that Brook will save the day, they’ll be friends again and all will be well with the Hill until of course the next dramatic disaster.

 

And then there was Sunday. The morning was taken up be the necessary evil. Thankfully we got to leave earlier than planed. Much of the training that was done was on customer service which was ironic seeing as how in Sunday evening I was treated to the most shocking display of customer service I have ever experienced in my life. Sunday evening was a brilliant example of really really bad customer service.

On the eve of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, South Africa is in a bit of a tailspin. The FWC is the biggest event in the world; bigger than the Olympics even. Soccer is the most popular sport in the world and we are going to be hosting the biggest event relating to it. We’re wondering if our infrastructure can survive this kind of global event. Is Eskom going to get themselves into gear? Will Telkom allow us to connect to the Internet at the same speeds as in other countries? Will there be a decent public transport system?

All these questions are more are being asked but we are forgetting one other very crucial thing.

Will the customer care in this country be up to scratch?

 

From my experience last night with the manager of Ster-Kinekor Gateway, Sunesh, I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll get our act together in time. It does not matter what a customer says or does you never, ever talk back to a customer, tell them that they are rude, say that you don’t want to speak to them and then turn your back on them and walk away WHILE THEY ARE SPEAKING TO YOU.

You also never approach the customer with your body language screaming that you don’t actually care what they have to say and are annoyed that they expect you to deal with something. It only succeeds in making them angrier.

And yes I got very very angry.

Retail is a difficult place to be but at the end of the day the customer is supposed to be the happy person. A happy customer is a customer that keeps coming back. It’s true that an unhappy customer will come back as well but that’s a lack of options more than anything else. Gateway is the most convenient for me so I go there. Visitors to our beautiful country in 2010 will have the rest of the world to choose from. They don’t have to come back here. Perhaps it’s time to also start focusing on customer relations as well. It is just as important as infrastructure. Do we want to gain a reputation as a country with shoddy customer care?

 

So now it is up to us to ensure that this problem is dealt with. So the next time you experience bad customer service say something. It’s not about getting free movies (which I didn’t btw) or your money back. It’s about ensuring that people who visit our country don’t have to add this to the list of things that desperately need work.

 

Also if you have the time, stop by and say Hi to Sunesh, hopefully he’ll be more helpful to you than he was with me.

 

 

GOOD INTENTIONS

Sometimes good intentions are self serving.

 

I experienced a case of self serving good intentions this weekend that left me rather annoyed. A very nice individual (G) decided to come and speak to me about my relationship with a person (X) connected to me. With obviously good intentions, G told me that I should make attempts to repair the relationship with X; He sprouted scripture and idioms concerning unconditional love and everything that I had heard before from a million other people. I do understand where G is coming from and I do applaud him for his efforts of the X’s behalf. But G has not idea of X has done and so all his efforts were in vain.

 

As far as X is concerned I am the epitome of polite and courteous behaviour and I do believe that no more can or should be asked of me. I understand the concepts of forgiveness and acceptance and whole heartedly embrace them as well. After all if I cannot forgive and accept, how can I expect to be forgiven and accepted?

 

But there is a line that I will not cross. Not out of defiance and rudeness but rather to protect myself and my rather fragile sensibilities where X is concerned. I will be the first to admit that I loose myself in a myriad of negative emotions far too easily. And so to protect myself and those that I do not care to burden with my unrelenting anguish, I keep my distance from X. It is an arrangement that suits everybody concerned.

 

Good intentions can be self serving. G’s good intentions served only his need to feel that he was imparting some good advice to someone who obviously needed it. I accepted what he said in a gracious manner and moved on. I do not feel guilty concerning my behaviour toward X nor do I feel that there need’s to be any adjustment in the relationship.

 

This whole incident taught me a very good lesson though; sometimes we speak without fully understanding a situation.

 

Our good intentions might not be good at all.

a new leaf

I had a life changing experience last night. One that made me run home and exercise. Last night I watched a single person eat in a single sitting the amount of food I eat across an entire day. This experience has made me change my prospective on food and the way I eat and without doubt my diet. Then I listened to the same individual catalogue the sweet food they had eaten the night before. While hearing about it I felt all the blood rushing to my head. How one person can eat all that in one sitting is beyond me.

 

My life is has been irrevocably changed.

I need to take this opportunity to thank MRS Hoover for helping me realise that I actually want to live a full productive life. So this is turning over a new leaf or whatever.

 

 

In the spirit of this change I am attempting to find the simple things in my life that I am grateful for. One thing that I am grateful for is exercise. I do believe that there a very few things that are better than steeping under a wonderfully hot shower after exercising and just letting the blissfully hot water run over you. And then the sleep that you have that night is also pretty great I think.

 

After my life changing experience last night I think I’m gonna have many more great showers after exercise.

update

In my last post I neglected to mention that I’m not on anti-biotics anymore. None of you could even begin to fathom what a please this is for my. Last night was my last night of horrible sleeping. It was horrible because I kept waking up to eat something to get the awful taste out my mouth. It’s not entirely gone yet. There’s still a bit of a lingering but I kick that in the shins by downing a mouthful of coke.

 

bad spaller

“Hi everyone. My name is Jo-Anne and I spell badly.”

“Hi Jo-Anne.”

 

 

There really should be a support group for people who love the English language and spend hours making sure that sentences are grammatically correct and then spell like really bad. It’s like Zoolander who can’t turn left. I suppose it’s because I so readily rely on the wonderful Microsoft spell to bail me out every time so I don’t bother with spelling. It really is appalling.

 

It’s Wednesday. Half way through the week which is great. I’m starving at 10:21 in the morning cos I didn’t have breakfast and I’m braving the gym again tonight. One of the best things about gym is the brilliant hot shower that you can have afterwards.

 

My beloved’s birthday is fast approaching and I’m not sure what to get him. Any ideas? Pass them on.

 

I’m still drowning in relative sorrow over HP. I feel like it’s going to be that way for a long time. I do understand that they are not real people and all that blah blah blah. But it was a part of my life for really long time. I still remember checking out Prisoner of Azkaban from the library. I couldn’t afford to buy the books and the first two were out. I took Azkaban cos I needed to know all about Harry. I can recall the days of sitting at the computer reading order of the phoenix cos my mom would have chucked out the real thing. That was very adventurous, holding my hand on the alt and tab buttons just in case she came into the room at any moment. Surreptitious behaviour was my friend. There are still two movies to look forward to and I will do so.

 

There are rumblings that JK may do another book. I for one hope not. We laboured and waited and read and panicked over seven books because we were told that’s all there were. To be hit with news of an eight I think will be a bit of a betrayal. If I had known I would not have gone through all the nail biting drama to begin with.

 

 

 

 

Finally an honourable mention to Ayanda for her lovely comments.

 

 

 

Adventure

The word adventure no longer holds the same sense that it used to. Adventure used to mean treks into the tomb of the Tutankhamen or meandering across the great African Wilds, the Australian Outback or the maybe the American Wild West. Whatever adventure meant back then, it most certainly did involve the use of tents and cooking on an open fire and all kinds of things that us city slickers would never be able to do like washing at the nearest watering hole or (GOD FORBID) not taking a bath all together.

 

Adventure has a new meaning now. One that is more suitable to our urban lifestyles and our credit cards and everything else.

 

 

I’ve just has an adventure.

 

I dropped water all over myself and there began the crazy journey to get dry clothes. It’s all fun and games really till someone loses and eye.

 

 

In other news I am finally coming to terms with the events that occurred in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It’s been a two days at least since I finished the book and I’m coming to terms with it slowly. I think perhaps it was the drug induced state that kept me from feeling what I am now. I’m on fewer drugs now and it’s all starting to sink a bit too quickly.

 

It really is the end of an era. It’s like Buffy all over again.               

 

 

J.K. Rowling has made history with Harry Potter. She’s a brilliant writer. The manner in which she weaved everything together in this book is just amazing and mind blowing. She’s also shown herself to be an adult writer with this book. I for will not have any problems if she abandons writing for kids and writes for adults exclusively. Deathly Hallows is a dark but brilliant book.  

 

Fundamental Differences

There are fundamental differences between races and when you are involved in an interracial relationship you get to learn what they are.

 

This is what I have learned.

 

When you are sick, if you are Indian you get treated to some brilliant chicken curry with white rice and maybe some russom (sorry about the spelling, I have no idea how to spell it) if you’re lucky enough.

 

If you’re white, you get chicken noodle soup.

 

If you’re an Indian girl married to a white guy who has no idea how to make curry, you get Nando’s HOT.

 

 

 

Brilliant Monday

So I did it. I went to gym yesterday and was really disheartened by how little I managed to do. But I suppose it’s the first step that matters and all I have to do now is keep stepping. The La Lucia gym looks really good. They got all new equipment which was fun to use. I looked a bit idiotic just standing there staring at the screens but I got the hang of it and all went well afterwards.  I felt great. I felt energised and ready to take on the world.

It also seems like the Gym Muses decided to reward my efforts because when I got home I found two really nice surprises. The first was a bit of a shock really. It always is when you know you’re put something somewhere and then it isn’t there. But it was a lovely surprise and makes me life so much easier. The load on my shoulders has lightened considerably.  

The second surprise met a need that I could feel was growing. It had taken root and a tiny little bud was about to spring forth.

We are all aware of the age old debate. NIKE or ADIDAS? (For others this includes Reebok and/or Puma), well for me it was the Adidas vs. Nike. Then it’s the white or black debate. After much deliberation on Sunday I settled on white Nikes. But there was that little niggle that said I could also do with a pair of black cross trainers. You know  ... just is case. Imagine my surprise when I got home to find a pair of black Adidas. It’s great. I love it. My fashion sensibilities have been placated. White and Black trainers. Shoes that will suit whatever mood I’m in.

So I no longer have any excuses to skip out on gym. I’m taking the plunge and moving forward. My goal this week is to go to gym every day. Not really to ouch myself to the point of exhaustion but rather juts just actually get going.

 

 

It's official...

… the world has gone Harry Potter crazy. Just about everything is abuzz with news and thrills from the latest book and the movie. I must admit I’m also waiting with baited breath for the last book. I need to know once and for all what happens. Then I can continue with my life and not have to think about it ever again … well until the sixth movie that is.

 

The weekend was busy and nice. Friday got of to a good start. Got to leave work early and headed home and slept for a bit while waiting for my beloved to finish work. After picking him we headed to the video store for a DVD and then pizza. We then went home for a nice relaxing night on the couch. Then came Saturday and Saturday was awash with activity.

One of the more memorable things about Saturday was getting to see the ultrasound of my nephew. Technology is amazing. I got to see his heat beat and his tiny little feet. But to be honest, those ultrasound things make unborn babies look like little aliens, so not so cute when you put it like that. But in the end it was a really nice content moment. I’m pretty sure he’ll look all normal when he eventually pops out. I’ve never seen one of those ultra sound things before, so it was pretty cool to see my nephew that way before he was born.

After seeing my unborn nephew I headed home to get some sleep before getting dressed and heading of to Joe Cool’s. Let’s not even talk about the journey that ended with us winding up at Joe Cool’s. Just thinking about it tires me out. The last time I went there, it was this really awful dive and kept wondering what the hell I was doing there. This time I could appreciate the location and all it entailed. I had a great time.

I do know one thing though and I keep coming back to this all the time, I didn’t feel entirely comfortable there. At least not the way I feel comfortable at Burn or at Casablanca. It’s very difficult to explain and I always get apprehensive about even trying to explain it. I never really feel as I am really communicating what I’m actually feeling. Also I’m weary of explaining it because it does sometimes sounds like it comes down to a race thing and it’s really actually not.  I guess it has a lot to do with the type of people frequenting the different joints. They really are polar opposites.  I personally have always felt more accepted by the patrons of Burn and feel like I have more in common with them than the people at Joe Cools or at Casablanca. Being at Joe Cool’s I felt like I misread the invite and got my outfit wrong for the fashion parade. Again I think it comes down to perception and how we feel. Irrespective though, I had a great time. Good Friends can make the worst experiences seem better.

 

Sunday was nice and a little relaxing or it would have been if I had not been tired but functional. I went of to visit family, had some brilliant mutton breyani, got a great gift and had a nice chat. Went home and headed of to Gateway where I spent R700 on a pair of shoes. I realised that I should just do it (yeah I got a cute pair of Nike’s) after driving all the way to Reservoir Hills and forgetting to take my shoes. The gym has been calling to me and so to answer the call, I bit the bullet and bought the shoes. I will be the first to admit that I spend a lot of money on shoes. But do you have any idea how many different pairs of shoes could be bought with R700? So I despair in that regard but think my new Nike’s are pretty cool.

 

Today I am off to the gym after work. I need to get back on track with a lot of things if I want this year to be a lot more fruitful than the last one.  So the training begins now. I’ve also decided to take the next month off. I’m on hiatus at least until the next big party calls to me. This was not a decision made lightly nor was it an easy one to make but it was made for a number of very good reasons; the biggest one being the ever-mounting pile of ironing that needs to get done and the other things that I have been neglecting in favour of the very busy social life I’ve led for the last few months. Of course, the rule does not apply to invites by certain unnamed persons. (If are lucky enough to make the list, snaps for you) or to tentative plans already made.

 

I’m using this one month to try and make sure that I get back into the stage of my life where gym attendance was very mandatory or the week didn’t quite feel right. This is my biggest focus for the next month.

 

 

Wish me God Speed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

hunting wabbits

OKAY

 

So I’m back out there and I must admit … not enjoying it so much, the sending out of CV’s, the constant waiting for the phone to ring, the endless interviews. It all becomes too much at times really. The thing about jobs is that for most of them you need experience. Most times you don’t have that. It’s an interesting gamble. You need experience to get a job and you need a job to get experience. I suppose not many companies are willing to put in the grunt work so that you can then just fly off to a better pay check.

 

Well that’s life I suppose.

 

I do really hope that I am blessed with a new job really really soon. Something more suited to me.

I’m really tired and when you are tired it affects your perception (there’s that word again) of every little thing under the sun and yes it is under the sun because in theory you should be asleep during the hours of the dark.

 

Tired = bad mood.

perceptions ...

are an interesting thing. All through out history we learn that it was the perceptions of strong individuals that changed the way life happened for a few or for many. For example in England a long long time ago, a man on the street could be shipped off to uninhabited Australia for stealing some bread to feed his five starving children. The punishment clearly did not suit the crime but the perception of the strong was that the poor had no business taking anything that did not belong to them

 

In other words, I see things one way and you see them another. I have been coming face to face with that notion in my recent dealing with people which brings me back to a question I have asked in previous posts.

 

Who is right?

 

I’m tired and thinking of too much and going off on tangents.  I just need some sleep and little less complication.

 

In other news

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix was as brilliant as I hoped. A few minor dis-appointments but that the way the cookie crumbles I suppose.

I am very excited as I write this. I just over six hours I’ll be settling down to watch the latest movie in the Harry Potter series. I’ve heard all the arguments and I know what everyone will possibly say. ‘Aren’t you a bit too old to care about stuff like this?’ I hope I’m never too old to get excited about trivial things. I hope I’m never too old to see the magic (excuse the pun) of using one’s imagination and I most defiantly hope that I never get too old to get together with a bunch of great friends and have fun.